tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36344300871991725252024-03-14T23:03:41.144+08:00The Window SeatThe Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-89386222143624270682016-03-05T11:20:00.001+08:002016-03-06T18:10:44.508+08:00我已經充滿力量喇!<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">八十年代一齣卡通片叫 He-Man。主角 He-Man 每次變身都會說:「請骷髏頭堡賜我力量。」然後一舉劍,他身後便閃起電來,他就說:「我已經充滿力量喇!」</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">每人有不同方法令自己得力,今天想記下一些曾令自己感到「充滿力量」的、零零碎碎的事情、說話或想法。</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilWrUxpqsf9LtrizTxwsGKOGDRor9lHhuxpCjlgBcgsgewwMgMfTPKDYVShIac7puyMCSkQD3SuEFJ-2-v3Kjl40WDiAQpKtiRvwRN1lXYIKyO1Z7GIp_7EfQ2am3YmXtN6DTep0M3PZM/s1600/20160305_celebrate+life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilWrUxpqsf9LtrizTxwsGKOGDRor9lHhuxpCjlgBcgsgewwMgMfTPKDYVShIac7puyMCSkQD3SuEFJ-2-v3Kjl40WDiAQpKtiRvwRN1lXYIKyO1Z7GIp_7EfQ2am3YmXtN6DTep0M3PZM/s320/20160305_celebrate+life.jpg" width="320" /></a>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">去年七月一則法庭新聞:姓孫的退休伯伯一直於沙田免費替街坊維修單車,只收取維修用的零件費。某天他突遭食環署人員拘控,指他涉嫌阻街及無牌收費提供服務。幸好法官批准孫伯取回其被沒收的維修工具,並訓示食環署人員小心行使權力。最終控方撤銷起訴。判決後,孫伯高興得在庭外三度「倒立」慶祝。讀到這則新聞,我也很高興。社會某角落還是有人情和公義。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">孫伯令我想到原來「倒立」是慶祝的方法。在家練習瑜伽,我也經常「倒立」數分鐘。整個人倒轉,視野全然翻轉,靜待數分鐘,用深呼吸保持平衡--彷彿是保持頭腦清醒的方法,令自己更記得要珍惜生活中的小確幸。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">無限感恩我是個喜歡做運動的人。無論跑步、瑜伽、游泳,每次做運動,都是與身體交流的過程。平日,太容易漠視身體給我們的訊息。但透過運動,我與身體會合,重新確認身體是我的基地。運動讓我回到基地,然後重新出發。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">近來做得最多的運動是跑步。早上六時半,到樓下運動場慢跑。不少長者也一早起床到場跑步,有的頭髮花白,有的穿著襯衫西褲皮鞋。與他們一起跑着跑着,</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial;">伴着綠草剛睡醒的氣息,</span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">我想,在這城,珍惜生命、重視健康的人還多着呢。這想法令我更有力量跑下去。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Facebook 的 COO Sheryl Sandberg 去年突然喪偶。她寫了一篇文,講述如何處理哀傷。這一段令我很深刻:“I have learned gratitude. Real gratitude for the things I took for granted before - like life. As heartbroken as I am, I look at my children each day and rejoice that they are alive. I appreciate every smile, every hug. I no longer take each day for granted. When a friend told me that he hates birthdays and so he was not celebrating his, I looked at him and said through tears, 'Celebrate your birthday, goddammit. You are lucky to have each one.' My next birthday will be depressing as hell, but I am determined to celebrate it in my heart more than I have ever celebrated a birthday before.” 「珍惜當下」本來陳腔濫調,但由剛失去摯愛的人說出,卻擲地有聲。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">而我不要等失去了才珍惜。我要現在就珍惜。「不做令自己後悔的事」,是近年覺得很有用的一把尺。當面對掙扎,就問自己:「做了這件事,我後悔的機會大,還是不做這件事,後悔的機會較大呢?」例如掙扎「生唔生B」。本來非常害怕孩子出生後,失去自由,但,若然今天不做這事,將來很可能後悔。於是,我們就硬着頭皮闖過去。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">不僅人生抉擇,面對生活大小事,也可用這把尺。例如應否出席某些聚會,如果明知不出席也不會後悔的話,不妨 say no。學懂對不重要的人和事 say no,也是珍惜生命的一種方法,也是令自己快樂的一條鑰匙。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">相反,假如認為錯過了某次相聚的機會我會後悔的話,就克服惰性或疲累,盡可能出席。「見一次,少一次」,是多真實。對自己真正重要的人不多,而我們一生裡交會的時間亦很短。所以嘛,生日也好,紀念日也好,過時過節也好,無中生有的慶祝活動也好,就爭取機會相見。我知大家也忙、也累、也懶,不過,真的,「見一次,少一次」啊。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">說起生日,總記得姨甥女四歲那年的生日會。那只是在家舉行的切蛋糕活動,但女孩為了自己的生日興奮了一整天,不停問身邊大人:「幾時可以切蛋糕?幾時開生日會?」當大人們一一給她送上禮物,她興奮得像雙腿裝了彈弓一樣,不受控地彈來彈去。拆每一份禮物,她都笑得合不攏嘴,雙眼成腰果狀,而且一邊彈跳一邊哈哈大笑一邊拆花紙。我記得那麼深刻,因我當時想:「我曾為自己的生日那麼快樂過嗎?」實在想不起來。後來,人大到一個連歲數都記不清的年紀(literally 曾有一段日子記錯了自己年歲),難免會像 Sheryl Sandberg 的朋友那樣,寧可不慶祝生日。但 Sandberg 的話,以及姨甥女那種無法壓抑的興奮,令我覺得無論過了多少個年頭,我的生日、我重視的人的生日,都依然值得慶賀。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">不止生日。最近經常深深感到:生命本身是應該好好慶賀的,we should celebrate life. 每一天活着有生命氣息,也應該懷着慶祝的心情。或許,我進入了人生一個階段,好想活出「珍惜每一天」這話。很多時,女兒睡醒一張開眼睛看見我們,便眉開眼笑--我愛死那陽光般的燦爛傻瓜笑容。老公說:She is so happy to have another day. She is so happy just to be alive! 大概是這種心情吧。我也想能像女兒那樣,那麼純粹地覺得活着多好。 (當然女兒也有一睡醒便哭的情況,這個就不在這裡說了。)</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">生活是平淡的,尤其是女兒出生後,日子被家務和「柴米油鹽」充滿,生活情趣驟減,要像女兒那麼每天「happy to be alive」,並不容易。這些時候,我會 replay 一個片段:老公用半鹹淡的廣東話宣讀結婚誓辭,一字一句說「愛護你,珍惜你」(他苦練多天,堅持用雙語說出誓言,讓他家人和我父母都作見證)。不過,真正重要的不是立誓那刻,而是之後每一天,他實實在在活出了誓言,讓我每天都感到被愛護、被珍惜。這才最重要。</span></li>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">也常 replay 陳奕迅的舊歌《一八七四》。黃偉文填得非常感動人的歌詞:「為何未及時地出生在一八七四,邂逅你,看守你,一起老死?」假如我們相信,世上總有「那位跟我絕配的戀人」,但他卻錯誤地出生在上一世紀,又或者,他雖然與我生在同一時空,卻永世無緣相遇,或者,相遇了卻因為戰火而被迫分開⋯⋯然而我和他,有幸出生在同一時空,邂逅在沒有戰亂的地方,可以按自由意志,選擇看守對方,選擇一起老死。我們過着表面看來多平淡的生活,但這其實,是個奇蹟。要記住,我們天天活在奇蹟中。</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">寫這些,不是硬銷正能量,也不是要說自己有多樂觀。說實,我也有不少烏雲蓋頂、黑面、累到想講粗口的日子。而以上的,就是幫我度過這些日子的方法,有時很管用,有時一點用也沒有。</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">純粹想把它們好好記下。</span>當然,寫,也是令我充滿力量的事情。</div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-11758435321967814882015-10-22T17:14:00.002+08:002015-10-22T17:14:49.684+08:00我的神奇夫家<div class="p1">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">英國人的家人主要住在英國,也有的在愛爾蘭和法國。我們籌備婚禮時預計,專程來香港參與的,大概五、六人吧。畢竟,那涉及九千六百多公里的距離、八小時的時差、十二小時飛行時間、每張一萬元的機票、數天假期、數晚住酒店的支出⋯⋯不出席的理由實在太多。</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">最終,共二十人從地球的那邊飛來香港,出席我們的婚禮。他其中一個哥哥,星期五晚抵港,星期六出席婚禮,星期日早上飛回英國。婚宴當晚哥哥對新郎說:「即使是今早抵港,出席婚禮後今晚就離港,我都會來。」</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">他在愛爾蘭的姊姊 Carol 因丈夫有嚴重長期病患,不願離開他獨自到港,終決定不出席,並寫了一封電郵給我們,說她多麼渴望分享我們的喜悅,對於不能出席,是多無奈、傷心、內疚。我回覆說不要緊,那不過是一場婚禮吧。她說:「那不僅是一場婚禮,那是你們的婚禮!」</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">婚禮當天清早,收到 Carol 傳來的相片,她和丈夫穿上禮服,在家「出席」我們的婚禮。她一早託到場的姊姊用手機將現場實況即時傳送給她,讓她和丈夫由早上敬茶、下午行禮、晚上喜宴都一直參與其中。計算時差,那是當地晚上十時至翌日下午四時,整整一個深夜、早上和下午。</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">這樣子隔空「參與」,我還以為,是熱戀中的異地戀情侶才會做的傻事。</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">來港出席我們婚禮的二十名男家家人,都付出了很多。然而,竟是無法出席的 Carol,讓我最深切感受到她是多麼渴望在這個日子,與我們在一起。</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">幾年前英國人的媽媽在愛爾蘭彌留,子女在身邊相伴。而她一名孫兒翌日就在彼岸的英國舉行婚禮。她終在深夜離世,在愛爾蘭的子女送她離開後,即回家梳洗,趕往碼頭坐清晨的船,到英國去參加侄兒婚禮。媽媽甫離世,他們不惜八小時舟車勞頓,也要趕及出席。</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我說,在香港忙碌是常態,OT 都可以是趕不及出席婚禮或喪禮的理由,更何況媽媽剛離世?同一情況下,相信很多香港人會缺席侄兒婚禮,回家休息算了。</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">英國人說:「我們沒有一個想缺席婚禮,因為大家知道,媽媽希望我們如常出席親人的婚禮,如常與他分享他的快樂。對媽媽來說,life is more important than death。逝者已矣,不如將心神放在活人身上。」</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">他也一直堅信 life is more important than death,在父母健在時經常陪伴左右,因為他知道時間最珍貴。父母不要他的錢、不要他的禮物,只稀罕他陪伴。到父母親先後離開,他沒有太哀慟,因已覺無憾。至於有否定期回鄉掃墓,也不執着,因為他不用追悔。在爸媽有生命氣息時,他已跟他們一起活在當下。</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">這是我常常想起、亦是很突顯他家人特質的兩件事。我跟他家人只相處過很短時間,我們一直只以短訊或電郵溝通,但他們的熱情卻很觸動我。我稱他們為我的神奇夫家。</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我指的熱情,不是見面時熊抱或滔滔不絕地說話(雖然他們也會這樣),而是,對生命、生活、人,有一種由衷的熱誠。對於重視的人,他們總會盡能力 be there for them。</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">嘴裡說關心很易,真正在別人有需要時 be there 卻不易做到。每人人生中都有些時刻特別希望家人或朋友在身邊,例如婚禮(好想你們在場見證)、某年的生辰(特別感觸,好想與你一起做點什麼)、完成了一個 project(好想和你大肆慶祝)、團年(好想一家人在一起)、初為人母(好需要家人在身邊)、失戀(什麼都不想說只想有你呆在一起)、生病(好想有人照顧)⋯⋯</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">在慣於冷漠、以忙碌為常態的香港生活多年,我認識到英國人和他一家,大開眼界。上述兩件事,銘記心中,提醒自己也要盡能力 be there for the ones I care,不要輕易以好忙、好累,成為不在場的原因。</span></span></div>
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The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-12111360207400902362015-07-01T21:03:00.001+08:002015-07-01T21:05:53.231+08:00由「受害者」變「同謀」<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; margin-bottom: 18px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">有一句說話,很有力量:</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">No one can hurt you without your consent. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">沒有你的批准,任誰都不能傷害你。</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">年紀漸長,身邊難免出現婚姻觸礁的人。而會向我訴說的,多是女性。這些女性朋友,往往又多半是關係裡的「受害者」,例如丈夫對她不聞不問、長期受丈夫精神虐待、男方不忠,甚或被男人暴力對待的也有。所以在這裡我暫且用「她」。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">當發現伴侶原來不再是她當日認識的那個人,感到震驚、生氣、失望、被出賣、想他改過、屈委、傷心、心痛、無力⋯⋯種種不同感受此起彼落,乃人之常情。可是,過了相當時日、作出過相當的努力嘗試修補後,那男人仍是一如既往,女性朋友再來找我傾訴,說着一年前、兩年前、三年前已說過的話,我就覺得,她其實已不再是這段關係裡的「受害者」,而是她老公的同謀。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">是她在容許對方傷害她,他才有能力傷害她。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">就如某天在街上閒逛,突然有個潑婦無故以污言穢語向我諸般辱罵,我愈是生氣,她就罵得愈起勁,因為她知道她在傷害我。可是,若我選擇一笑置之,任她再說什麼,也無法傷害我。她繼續做她的潑婦吧,我則踏步向前繼續走我的路。在這件事上,我的位置是超然的。</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKBb4A7xsFXtbNQ8IDDVWKc7nhetn8NVHBvXZLADd7p9WMW2WBYNdt1_FyBobuv-nxqsNMCIbmG49S9FnEHTIFBealZkZp_KP7CCKt_wcHlP0qXDjVlf0ESmHAKqlNUX82y7pAZNS1cI/s1600/20150701_doormat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKBb4A7xsFXtbNQ8IDDVWKc7nhetn8NVHBvXZLADd7p9WMW2WBYNdt1_FyBobuv-nxqsNMCIbmG49S9FnEHTIFBealZkZp_KP7CCKt_wcHlP0qXDjVlf0ESmHAKqlNUX82y7pAZNS1cI/s1600/20150701_doormat.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">然而女人在破爛不堪的男女關係中,死守不離,只懂站在同一角落裡任由對方傷害,她就是同謀。她本來有權利、有責任去終止這種不合理、不公平的待遇,但她沒有行使那權利,沒有負上那責任。她反而甘願淪為人家門前的地毯,任人踐踏,臉上還寫着 Welcome。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">婚姻誓約是一生一世的,固然不輕言放棄。可是,假如對方不尊重那誓約、不尊重那關係、不尊重她這個人,她還死守不放的話,她也就成了不尊重婚姻、不尊重自己的人。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">世界那麼大,人生那麼短。凡遇上這種由受害者變同謀的人,我就不禁勸她回頭是岸。尊重自己,離開他吧。Walk away from such a relationship. Move on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">可是,當話題來到這裡,她就忽然患上斯德哥爾摩綜合症(Stockholm Syndrome),不停為對方說好話,例如,其實他有時也會待我好;我覺得他還喜歡我;他也不是最差的丈夫;我還沒有足夠證據證實他對我不忠;至少他沒有動手打過我等等。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">若要自我催眠,何不閉起雙眼告訴全世界你是世上最幸福的女人?為什麼這邊廂在傷心哭訴,那邊廂又在為他開脫?究竟想點。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">唔知想點,只知不想離開。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">明明不再感到幸福,卻死活不離開,究其原因,除了恐懼,還是恐懼。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">先是對將來感到恐懼,認定假如失去了他,就不會遇到另一個人,亦即害怕「孤獨終老」。很難理解為什麼她一口咬定自己不會再遇上另一個人,只是知道,一個人愈是缺乏自信,就愈難吸引人。再者,就算最終自己生活,是否就等同寂寞?與他同床異夢,真的勝過自己一個人?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">另一種恐懼來自介意旁人目光。很多人以為離婚等同失敗,害怕被看成失敗者。當然,人們一般都會祝福別人婚姻美滿,可是,假如他們知道她在這段關係中受過的諸般傷害,都會為她感到不值和憤怒。如果有一日,她終於決心離開他,旁人不但不會覺得她失敗,反而,會為她不再當他的「地毯」而鼓掌,為她的勇氣喝采。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">可是,她不會離開他。在旁人眼中,只要她踏出那一步,walk away,便海闊天空,就那麼簡單。可是,當局者卻無論如何看不到這條路。她只看到恐懼。她最大的反抗方式,就是在任人欺凌踐踏後,哭着問:「為什麼他那樣傷害我?為什麼他要那樣摧毁我的人生!」</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">假如她願意掌握自己的人生,又有誰能摧毁她的一生?是她甘願將自己的人生拱手相讓,任人宰割,對方才能當上劊子手。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">聽她訴說的人,如果像我一樣一心冀盼引導她脫離痛苦,自己就會很痛苦。承認吧,別人是無法叫醒她的。承認吧,她根本不想醒。又或者,她其實很清醒,她清楚知道她看世界和人生的角度壓根兒就與我的剛剛相反。在我眼中,世界太大,人生太短。對她來說,世界很細(只有他),人生卻太漫長。</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-10068984388995834122015-05-17T08:42:00.000+08:002015-05-17T08:42:15.502+08:00我的神奇女俠<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體, serif;">媽媽:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">小時候我只知道媽媽就是媽媽。我只知道你就是在家裡負責買菜洗衣服做飯洗碗並照顧所有人的那個人。我只知道妹妹尿了床你會替她換床單,只知道姊姊上學前要梳辮子你會每天早上幫她梳,只知道我出水痘了你會帶我去看醫生、半夜起來照顧我,只知道爸爸深夜下班回家你會為他預備宵夜。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我卻從來不知道,原來你是神奇女俠,因為你沒有告訴過我。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">因為,還有太多太多,你沒有告訴過我啊。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">你沒有告訴過我,懷孕首三個月的孕吐,會令人變成林黛玉一樣,體質虛弱得只想臥床休息;一旦臭到蒜頭或葱等味道便會嘔吐大作,因此完全無法入廚。所以那三個月我老是待在你身邊,只管吃和睡,幾乎什麼都不做。於是我問你,你孕吐時誰煮飯給你吃?你說:自己煮,吐也得煮,當時沒錢到外面吃,要吃就得煮,否則難道一家餓死?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">你沒有告訴過我,捱過孕吐後,懷孕期間還有一個又一個挑戰與難關。有的人因「見紅」或作小產而要臥床休息;有的因患上妊娠糖尿而得戒掉一切甜吃,自律控制飲食;有的因患上妊娠高血壓而擔心影響胎兒成長;有的因胎兒過大或過小而徨徨不可終日;有的突然感到胎動減少而到急症室求助</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">……</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">當然還有更嚴重的情況,無法一一細說。於是我問你,你懷孕六次,可有遇過以上什麼波折?你想一想,說,沒有啊。第一次懷孕才二十出頭,還年輕吧;之後也沒有什麼問題,身體也許適應了懷孕這件事吧。我想,你還不是神奇女俠!?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">你沒有告訴過我,到懷孕後期體重增加二三十磅,肥腫難分時,連走路到樓下買麵包都覺得吃力,無法蹲下,也無法彎身為自己剪腳甲,很多本來看似很簡單的事,我都做不到了。於是我問你,你懷胎九月腹大便便時,還繼續擔起家務嗎?你反問,要不然誰來幫我?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">你沒有告訴過我,</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">一個女人生孩子的過程,原來,那——麼——痛。別人都說「生仔十級痛」,我以前從不知道「十級痛」即是有多痛,只是聽人形容過,灼傷是七級痛,自然分娩的陣痛就是十級痛;也在書本看過,陣痛的痛楚程度等如十根肋骨同時斷裂。可是,無論比喻如何生動,我總還是想:「我應該會接受得到的,我捱得住。」卻原來,親身經歷過,才知道世上有種痛楚,是我之前完全想像不到,而且是無法用文字形容的。所以,我不會費勁嘗試去形容。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">那天,我在產房足足二十小時,三次哭了,很多次覺得自己無法支持下去,很多次以為自己會昏過去……親身經歷過後,我不會鼓勵別人自然分娩;假如有人跟我說打算剖腹產子,我甚至會說,那很明智。(雖然,事過境遷後,我心裡其實也會暗暗自滿,覺得人生中經歷過那種不能形容的痛楚,實在很難得——很有點變態吧。)可是媽媽,你在生過大姊後,已感受過那叫人痛不欲生的陣痛,為什麼還有勇氣去多生五個孩子?</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">經歷過那種「</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">十根肋骨同時斷裂」的重創、安全把孩子帶來這個世界後,我頓覺功德圓滿了,只想好好休息。可是,媽媽你沒有告訴過我,原來這才是開始。一般人經歷了生關死劫,理應休養生息三個月,讓人照料。可是,剛生產過的女人卻頓時成為照料者,得負起全責去照顧一個新生嬰兒。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">這一代女人算是很幸運,「坐月」期間有陪月照料和幫忙,可是,我還是感到很大衝擊——在離開醫院回到家的第一個星期,在不分晝夜的餵哺、照料、換片、安撫、無眠之間,我忽然很恐懼:難度我就這樣度過餘生嗎?我的人生就這樣告一段落嗎?</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我當然知道隨着孩子長大,日子就不再那麼日夜顛倒,但身心疲累令我無法理性,只是感到憂慮和沮喪。媽媽,你沒有告訴過我,你是如何克服初為人母這種抑鬱與恐懼,直至我哭着跟你說:「好辛苦呀。」你才輕輕說句:「把一個孩子帶大,你以為容易嗎?」</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">當年,沒有陪月伴你「坐月」,你媽媽也不在身邊,如果累得想哭的話,你也無法向媽媽哭訴,只有硬着頭皮繼續日復日的支撐下去。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">「把一個孩子帶大,你以為容易嗎?」可是,你卻帶大了六個孩子,而我們看在眼裡,你是多麼得心應手。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">親身經歷過,由一個自由自在的獨立個體,變成一個媽媽,我如今想,你自二十出頭便做了這件事,而且再勇往直前地多生五個孩子,這再次證實了我的想法——你是擁有超能力的神奇女俠。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">媽媽,你的孫女、我的女兒剛滿月不久,看着她一天一天成長,如今我已沒有起初那麼惶恐不安;我甚至,開始懷疑自己得你遺傳,隱隱感到體內潛藏着那種超能力。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1RjyvyYJtCshGX0Yb8hs_R-gFUCvJNVXqXW-VSdaBijG8X63dfDjNUglI6hzAJ7Y3YOPJrIhtTepYQQLHhTTs9nzw8n3yh_hgKUYZ4NrDnJV7syy3x77rboHfsThvGQbdX-LpS0uGO_o/s1600/20150517_wonderwoman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1RjyvyYJtCshGX0Yb8hs_R-gFUCvJNVXqXW-VSdaBijG8X63dfDjNUglI6hzAJ7Y3YOPJrIhtTepYQQLHhTTs9nzw8n3yh_hgKUYZ4NrDnJV7syy3x77rboHfsThvGQbdX-LpS0uGO_o/s320/20150517_wonderwoman.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">以往我自詡是個「睡眠寶寶」,每晚十時便上床睡覺,天天睡八九小時,假如睡眠被騷擾的話,便很容易失常。我實在沒想過自己如今可以每晚捱着睏,一聽到女兒哭,便即時起床為她換片餵奶,日日如是。當所有熟識我的朋友都知道我多麼「怕煩」、「怕悶」、沒耐性,我自己也很驚訝,過去一個月可以足不出戶;無論女兒如何哭鬧不休我也沒有對她失去耐性,而是一次一次去安撫她,只希望她平靜、安樂。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">或許,所有女人成為母親後,某種超能力便會浮現,令她們都步上成為神奇女俠之路。可是媽媽,當我望着你,試想像一下過去數十年你為我們捱過多少過無眠夜晚,我知道自己要走的路還很長,很長。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">縱然長路漫漫,縱然在某幾次疲憊不堪的片刻曾經以為自己要崩潰了,但只要補充半小時睡眠後,當我再次抱着那個完全依賴我的小生命時,我還是覺得非常幸福。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體, serif;">媽媽,這也就是你當年抱着我的心情吧,也就是你那鼓超能力的來源吧。</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-29134003797145272712015-03-30T16:59:00.002+08:002015-03-30T17:17:36.508+08:00誰說 Birth Partner 一定是丈夫?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">到公立醫院做產科檢查或出席產前講座,醫院職員都多次強調,丈夫的支持如何重要。在入院須知等文件中,亦一直以「丈夫」一詞稱呼胎兒的父親,亦只准產婦的「丈夫」陪同分娩。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我是個所謂典型的個案,孩子是所謂的「婚生子女」,即是有媽媽、有爸爸,而父母是合法夫妻。因此,這種說法對我來說是準確的;我亦欣賞醫院職員那麼鼓勵及重視男方的參與。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">可是,心裡始終隱隱感到不安和不妥。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">這種說法,背後下了很多假設(</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;">Assumptions</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">)。首先,他們假設胎兒的父親已跟孕婦結婚。那樣子,是漠視不打算結婚的產婦或未婚媽媽的感受,間接給她們壓力,令她們感到懷孕產子等同要跟孩子的父親結婚。外國很多情侶,一起生兒育女但始終沒有結成夫婦,孩子的父親並不一定等如女人的丈夫。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">第二,他們假設孩子的父親都在孕婦身邊,陪她經歷懷孕與生產過程。然而,並不是人人那麼幸運,有些孕婦因為種種原因,已與孩子的父親分開,當她們聽到醫護人員「丈夫」前、「丈夫」後的,會是什麼樣的心情?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">第三,他們假設那位擔任孩子父親角色的人,都是男性。抹煞了其他種種可能,例如孕婦決定讓媽媽、姊姊、妹妹、同性朋友或同性戀朋友擔當孩子父親的角色。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">在英國,醫院對產婦一般不以「丈夫」稱呼那位陪伴她經歷懷孕與生產過程的人,他們是用</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"> birth partner</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">。孕婦的</span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"> <span lang="EN-HK">birth partner </span></span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">可以是她的親人、朋友,醫院不會過問他們的關係,但求孕婦在十月懷胎的過程中,有一個可以信賴的人在身邊,給予她支持。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">單單一個稱呼,反映香港是個多麼保守的社會,彷彿只看到傳統家庭單位的存在,誰來顧及非主流家庭成員的感受?</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">而這種慣性的保守態度,由一個嬰兒的出生,一直延展到孩子的成長和學習階段。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">朋友在女兒出生後不久與丈夫分居,與女兒搬回娘家住。小女孩得到母親悉心照顧,又與外公、外婆、姨姨和舅舅們住在一起,份外親密,得到外婆家所有人的厚愛,似乎並未因為在單親環境下成長而感到欠缺。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKySNTwZclTwVMyNGXhO0WxRlfTimxQxjfpBWxeSr2sy3-WPrQPwF-a1sEYMM3JzCgi-hOICQxcdyLEgZT7C3r_M__n4BPHqKMiUNe7WkE3Uc11oZHFRg6k1P1flgQEwaGuYnzbY1oXQo/s1600/birth+partner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKySNTwZclTwVMyNGXhO0WxRlfTimxQxjfpBWxeSr2sy3-WPrQPwF-a1sEYMM3JzCgi-hOICQxcdyLEgZT7C3r_M__n4BPHqKMiUNe7WkE3Uc11oZHFRg6k1P1flgQEwaGuYnzbY1oXQo/s1600/birth+partner.jpg" height="198" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">可是,隨着小女孩踏進入讀幼稚園的年齡,朋友開始擔心。她說,看到身邊很多例子,孩子一旦入學,就難免學習家庭的概念,很多功課都與「我的爸爸」、「我的媽媽」有關,例如自製全家福,在「爸爸」一欄得貼上父親的近照、在「媽媽」一欄則貼上母親的近照;到父親節要學習畫領帶送給爸爸,母親節則用紙巾摺成花朵送給媽媽;學習唱頌以「我愛我的爸爸」和「我愛我的媽媽」為歌詞的歌謠等等。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">朋友當然早已預備好,女兒懂性後便得向她解釋她的家庭狀況,盡能力讓她明白自己在充滿愛的家庭成長,不必因為與其他人的家庭環境不同而感到自卑。但是,當學校不斷「提醒」孩子,他或她與一般孩子不同,那麼單親家長單方面的鼓勵和開導,又是否足以讓孩子繼續快樂、自信地成長?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">學校教師在教導家庭概念的同時,如何顧及單親家庭孩子的感受,不容忽視。一個孩子如何看待自己和自己的家庭,就是這樣子一點一滴建立起來的。</span><span lang="EN-HK" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-49775147447154901332015-02-24T11:15:00.002+08:002015-02-24T11:20:09.710+08:00珍惜<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體, serif;">早前與英國人同時病倒,服藥後二人不分晝夜地睡覺,睡了整個長周末。我對他說,他日即使病倒,也沒可能這樣子睡覺了,就好好珍惜這段患病的日子吧。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">要珍惜還有很多:</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">雜物不多的家,那種窗明几淨。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">做家務後家居可維持光潔整齊兩天。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">和朋友傾電話、</span><span lang="EN-US">chat</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,或獨自閱讀、寫字、煲碟、拉筋,都可以專心一意。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">想出外走走的時候,拿個銀包輕輕便便就出門。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">隨時隨地見朋友,又經常即興回娘家,從不須急於回家。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">想睡便睡,睡飽才起床。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">想煮便煮,不想煮便出外吃。只要餵飽自己就行。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">可以約英國人下班後去拍拖,在餐廳安安靜靜吃晚飯。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在家中我還是最年輕的成員,享有不少特權。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 24.0pt; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; tab-stops: list 24.0pt; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">l<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">英國人回到家第一個動作就是抱我。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">因為這些日子所剩無幾,所以更加提醒自己好好珍惜。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">不過,當我們的世界因為那新成員而變得翻天覆地,希望我們一樣珍惜那些瘋狂、散亂、失控的日子,點點滴滴。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">活於現在,不悼念過去,不恐懼將來。因為沒有什麼是必然的。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-41078071754321206992014-12-30T16:00:00.001+08:002014-12-30T16:00:30.168+08:00就如花兒在春天盛開<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">在我和英國人的婚禮,我說了這樣的話:以前每段關係都無法開花結果,因為到了某階段我就問自己一個問題:我能與這個人共度餘生、數十年下來天天相對都不生厭、晚晚同床而不作嘔嗎?假如我無法確定,就知道是時候了斷。當然,有些情況是對方比我更早作出這種反思,而決定速逃。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">也有想過,若然以後都答不出肯定的答案,那麼是否每段關係也無疾而終?又抑或,得在現實中取個平衡點,例如長遠只拍拖,不同居、不結婚,便沒那麼容易生厭;又例如,同住而不同房,以保留私人空間,保持新鮮感;再前衛一點,甚至思考過能否接受</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> open relationship</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,衝擊傳統價值,想一想,法定的一夫一妻制,限制人類未來幾十年只與一個人談戀愛,是不是有點虐待又自虐。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">卻原來,當遇到那個對的人,根本不會去思考那問題,已知道答案。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">一開始已相逢恨晚,就沒時間擔心他日互相生厭,</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">也不需要找什麼平衡點。只拍拖、不同居,同住而不同房,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">open relationship </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">等都不在考慮範圍。</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">相反,我只想每晚與他一起談天至入睡,也好想每早醒來張開眼睛,都看到這個人在我身邊。這種渴求是無法解釋的。所以當他邀請我跟他結婚,我想也不用想就說,好啊。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">雖然不理性,但很慶幸擁有這麼一個讓我們勇往直前的起點。往後漫漫長路,發展下去是如何,沒人能預知。我們能做的,只有盡力協助對方記着這個起步點,但願不要忘記這初心。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">對我來說,愈是重大的決定,原來愈不依理性而行,反而往往是憑感性、靠直覺、隨心而行。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">今年,我做了人生中最重大的兩個決定,明知道兩件事對我的影響是一生一世,但都是以感性行事,壓根兒不需要(或不懂得)權衡輕重、計算成本、預算得失。第一件事,是和英國人結婚。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">第二件事,是懷孕。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">對於懷孕、生育、為人母親,我恐懼了那麼多年,可是跟英國人結婚第一年竟就樂意地懷孕了。面對新生命的來臨,我們輕易可列舉一百項擔憂,但我們從沒有坐下來</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">權衡輕重、計算成本。那並不是衝動或魯莽。還是英國人形容得優美:就如這種花會在春天開、那種樹會在秋天結果子一樣啊,天時地利人和造就了最合適的天氣,讓我們的花兒在這個時候盛開,我們也就順勢而行,感覺是自然到不會去問為什麼。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">假如要問為什麼,我們實在無法一一解答:你那麼愛自由,為什麼會生孩子?香港生活壓力那麼大,為什麼還要生育孩子,既苦了自己又苦了下一代?香港的教育搞成這樣,你還在香港養育孩子?看這種政治環境,為什麼還把孩子帶來這黑暗世界?為什麼?為什麼?為什麼?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">有時做事,並不為什麼。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">林夕曾就「徒勞無功」這樣說:「人生許多方向,要走許多路,唯一不會走失的,就是走向死亡。那,對於某些人來說,是不是生來一場,就是一株徒然草,不如什麼都別幹,等死就是唯一的活動?我們吃的是飯,拉出來的是糞便,是不是連飯都別吃好了,活得像大便一樣就好了,省得浪費資源?有功無功,還看對誰效忠;徒勞與否,千萬年太長,只看朝夕太短。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">假如一定是「為了什麼」才去做,假如人人在生兒育女這件事上都理性地權衡輕重、計算成本、預測果效,那麼,恐怕世上只有一小撮非常富貴的人才會生育吧。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">假如有一天,樹木也忽然苦苦追問為什麼,一起問蒼天:「我們為什麼要不厭其煩地在樹枝製造果子,等果實成熟,吸引猴子爬上來採摘,等牠們把果實帶到別處去吃,還望牠們吐出種子,讓種子在泥土中生長成另一棵樹呢?不如讓我們簡單地終此一生,時候到就讓我枯死算吧。」厭倦繁殖的樹木,就此於地球消失……</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">況且,「徒勞與否,千萬年太長,只看朝夕太短」。我相信蝴蝶效應,<span style="background: white;">一件表面上看來毫無關係、非常微小的事情,卻可能帶來重大的改變。就如我在這日誌寫過幾篇關於追夢的文章以鼓勵自己,怎想到有一天有朋友告訴我,那幾篇文章令他反思很多,令他更能下決心辭職去追夢(嚇了我一跳!)。又如周永康、岑敖暉或黃之鋒的父母,二十年前生這孩子時想必沒想過,他有一天會帶領一場公民抗命運動,令多少人對香港年輕人另眼相看。又如雨傘運動,表面上沒有爭取到什麼成果,但事情為多少香港人帶來多大的衝擊、反思與改變,無法測度。又如瑪拉拉(</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;">Malala Yousafzai</span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">)的父母在生這女孩時,想也沒想過她有一天會不畏危險地致力為兒童爭取接受教育的機會,並因而成為典範,成為一個為那麼多人帶來希望的孩子。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyrpA5nUP6Dcy3IgalSM478FXwBT14GpCNJLhitzs5eQubIJwRpj5npEWVTyeCwUqWsI1TS_xy20TKcnG_WMZQL6zknarm-UJtdXA2z8jyF2HpThk87KujPATX4HeNxQLZHCKsW-XUmVw/s1600/Flowers2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyrpA5nUP6Dcy3IgalSM478FXwBT14GpCNJLhitzs5eQubIJwRpj5npEWVTyeCwUqWsI1TS_xy20TKcnG_WMZQL6zknarm-UJtdXA2z8jyF2HpThk87KujPATX4HeNxQLZHCKsW-XUmVw/s1600/Flowers2.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">把事情說得有點過於偉大了。只是一年將盡,回想這一年做了人生中最重大的兩個決定,彷彿很神勇;再想真一點,其實我們並沒有刻意經營過什麼。只是非常幸運地,在適當的時候,遇到對的人,結婚懷孕也就變得那麼自然,自然到</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">壓根兒不必權衡輕重、預算得失,只是一股腦兒憑感性、靠直覺、再加一點傻勁,就讓事情發生。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">就如這種花會在春天開、那種樹會在秋天結果子一樣。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-52921296071133541752014-12-20T16:12:00.001+08:002014-12-21T09:31:34.338+08:00那不合常理的信心、勇氣和傻勁<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">爸爸告訴我,祖父母是盲婚啞嫁下結成夫妻的。祖母嫁給祖父前,只知道他家務農。當時不流行拍照,也沒有事先看看對方的樣貌。然後就擺酒,洞房,下半生就對着對方。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">想起就滴汗。如果我生於要盲婚啞嫁的年代,我多半會逃之夭夭。陪我共度下半生那人是誰,影響我一輩子,怎能不讓我選擇?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">最近驚覺,有一件事比起盲婚啞嫁更盲、更啞、更不文明。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">受父母之命嫁娶,我們至少可打聽打聽對方的背景、職業、外表、性情,但一旦懷孕,我們可說是連打聽都沒得打聽,只有等孩子在母腹內一路成長,不斷到醫院檢查,才略略估計得到他會不會出現某類狀況,可是,還要待九個月後,到他出生一刻,才真正知道他是否健全,長個什麼模樣。至於性情,更須花很長一段日子與之相處,才能領悟得到。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">生育孩子,父母事前對孩子毫無頭緒,但一旦小生命在女人肚腹中成形,就已闖進了她的人生,成為她一輩子須承擔的責任。同樣,孩子也是毫無選擇,無從知道父母將是什麼樣的父母,他們會怎樣對待他、供應他;一出生就被決定了,他是這個家庭的一員,沒有權利選擇。</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span>
一切都不在誰的掌握中。</div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">很多人認為結婚是人生中最重大的決定,能夠與另一個人立下那誓言,都需要很強的信心、勇氣、傻勁。那麼,在對孩子一無所知的情況下決定生育,所需的信心、勇氣、傻勁,不是更強大得近乎不合常理嗎?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">以現代一般男女關係來說,一對情人決定結婚,會一起選擇婚禮的日期、地點、形式、舖排;亦會共同計劃婚後生活、相處方法等。但一對男女決定生育,不但無法選擇何時才成孕,對於成孕後那九個月的事態發展更是毫無話事權。女人懷孕期間由體形、髮質、膚色、口味、精神和健康狀況都可能出現翻天覆地的變化;孕吐嚴重的人,感覺更猶如病重數個月,足不出戶,對什麼都失去興趣。而生產過程中得承受哪種程度、持續多久的痛楚,更是無從預測。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">千辛萬苦誕下孩子,面對的仍是一籃子的未知之數。他的抵抗力、安全感、睡眠質素、胃口、腸胃、視力聽力、活躍度、學習能力、專注力、表達能力、破壞力……你都一無所知,但每一項都影響父母未來十多二十年。而無論孩子是小羔羊還是小魔怪,父母都只有照單全收,不得退換,無法修訂。</span><br />
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終於守護孩子到他長大成人,他究竟是會繼續依賴、勞役父母,抑或願意照顧、孝順他們?做父母的依然無從掌握、不敢奢望。</div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">這個長達數十年的過程中,為人父母的除了盡心盡力養育孩子,一廂情願盼望他們懂得感恩之外,可以說,其他一切都不在他們掌握之中。而他們付出的,幾乎是一輩子的心血、時間和積蓄。</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfX7Sh7zEtKH-FGBWRPKXq40UjCfuNuwqfNj63Oqd38_L3zGcZDGt6a1DXY5tNHfXaJIhXHcCgyCSPvkGoIkq31YSznQrJsqjlSKQQRCLA0-HoWdMjHwdeXU9SVtb7SMftYRLN-qWc-W8/s1600/Courage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfX7Sh7zEtKH-FGBWRPKXq40UjCfuNuwqfNj63Oqd38_L3zGcZDGt6a1DXY5tNHfXaJIhXHcCgyCSPvkGoIkq31YSznQrJsqjlSKQQRCLA0-HoWdMjHwdeXU9SVtb7SMftYRLN-qWc-W8/s1600/Courage.jpg" height="192" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">若然以一宗交易來看,生孩子是無論如何都划不來。成本太大,風險太高;回報率毫無保證,即使有回報,也是三十年後的事。人生苦短,精明的投資者才不會這樣折騰自己的人生。</span><br />
<br />
然而現實是,一對又一對男女還是爭相一頭栽進這無底深潭,義無反顧,不計得失,不退縮,不反悔。當中那種不合常理的信心、勇氣、傻勁,究竟從何而來?</div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-46833251640481539512014-10-04T21:30:00.000+08:002014-10-13T12:33:55.650+08:00Are There Really Always Two Sides to Every Story?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">In <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">Journalism</st1:placename>
<st1:placetype w:st="on">School</st1:placetype></st1:place>, we were taught to
always report on both sides of the story. That's what most media organisations do.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">In many local newspapers and TV channels, after
reporting how the police used pepper spray and tear gas against peaceful
demonstrators, they quoted government officials or allies who said the police
have exercised "appropriate degree of force". <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">In a recent BBC programme, the host interviewed
former Chief Secretary Anson Chan and Martin Jacques, author of <i>When China Rules the World</i>. While Anson
Chan explained the students were fighting for the right to elect and to be
elected, Martin Jacques claimed the 1200-strong nomination committee in Hong
Kong was broadly representative of <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>
people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">In a radio interview, Occupy Central co-founder Benny
Tai explained their campaign and updated the strategies. Then, spokesperson for
the anti-Occupy Central group Robert Chow said the majority of Hong Kongers
were opposed to Occupy Central, citing the apparent 1.5 million people who
signed his group's "Peace & Democracy" petition. <span style="background: #F6F7F8; color: #141823;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">After seeing
and reading many of these news reports, I have started to question the saying
"there are always two sides to every story". <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Are there really
<i>always </i>two sides to <i>every</i> story? When one side is made up of
blatant lies, are we still obliged to consider that a fair side? Are we still
obliged to give that side of the story an equal weight?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Perhaps it is
the tradition of media organisations to report on both sides of the story, so
as to be seen as balanced. So be it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">However, when
individuals commented on Occupy and the recent actions of the government and
police, some have said, "Well, there are always two sides to every
story." I've asked, "What is the other side of the story?" One
of them replied, "I don't know. But there are always two sides to every
story."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another way
of putting it is "not everything is black and white". Of course! But
sometimes, some things are so morally wrong that there is no grey area. Even if
there is, all the more reason to cut through the mist with an honest view.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Such
"two sides" and "black and white" sayings would sometimes
become an easy default position for people who don't want to be seen as
"sided" with anyone. Some even go further saying, "I just want
to remain neutral." "I support the students. But I also support the
police who are doing their jobs." "I support democracy. But I also
support maintaining an orderly society so students should disperse and go back
to school." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They may mean
it when they say it. But I find it confusing as to what they really believe in
and where they stand. Do they really think "each side" is of equal
worth? If so, it would help if they are willing to explain what they like about
each position.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sometimes
people say, yes, they support democracy (in an abstract sense) but then decline
to say exactly what kind of democracy, so it's impossible to know what it is
they really support. Or they say, "I support the protestors' aims but not
their methods," but then refuse any invitation to suggest any
alternatives. I'll call this the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/dashhk/photos/a.439704286111387.1073741828.430660383682444/702768693138277/?type=1&theater" target="_blank">Robert Chow school of logic</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">An
alternative strategy some people use, which I'll call the "gobbledygook",
is that they uncharacteristically say a lot of words and ask a lot of questions
which lead to confusion. In the end, you are lost as to what they mean and what
the points they are making. It's like voluntary <a href="http://www.aphasia.org/content/aphasia-definitions" target="_blank">Aphasia</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is as if
people are not willing to take a stance. Maybe they don't wish to reveal their
true view. Maybe they have an excessive regard for political correctness. Or
maybe they just prefer to wait until it's clearer which way the wind blows, then
align themselves with the winning side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But if people
are unwilling to state their real views, how as a city or society could we make
any progress? How can we show each other genuine respect and dignity?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For the sake
of <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>, especially it's young people, I
hope more people will speak up. In that spirit, let me give my view.
Personally, I hope people would favour a peaceful transition to democracy and
show the demonstrators their support. But if that's not their
preferred goal, then at least I hope they would give us their honest view. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Someone once
said that, "All that's needed for evil to succeed is that good men do
nothing". Or, I would add, say nothing. In times of moral crisis, if I
stay silent or remain neutral, I risk abetting or condoning something that in
my heart I know is wrong. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jvPFS8AqD9VF5NrH7emvZmOUM6vCfAIPpdllDjlsellbKGzHGLTlWzmMr0D30RfVlKDvGw-sEyueot1M0R_5ZogpJIbqkfrjDiKnkwhFbfALPf_kRR3clNvyD9A6YMhfdRdLNEz36Ew/s1600/Mongkok+protest+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jvPFS8AqD9VF5NrH7emvZmOUM6vCfAIPpdllDjlsellbKGzHGLTlWzmMr0D30RfVlKDvGw-sEyueot1M0R_5ZogpJIbqkfrjDiKnkwhFbfALPf_kRR3clNvyD9A6YMhfdRdLNEz36Ew/s1600/Mongkok+protest+1.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">Let's go back in time when advocates were in the movements of suffragettes, civil rights or the abolition of the slave trade</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">. It would not be surprising if some people back then had said they supported both the "for" and "against" sides with regards to these rights. I would hope that, if I had lived in those eras, I would've identified with what we now know clearly to be the "right side". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">But I didn't live then. I live now. This is our time, this is our place, this is our issue. I see the violence carried out on peaceful protestors, first by the police, then by thugs with police's acquiescence. I feel a deep wrong is happening in </span><st1:place style="font-family: Arial;" w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place><span style="font-family: Arial;">. One that will scar us for generations. I hope more people speak out against it.</span></div>
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The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-84587930697357157932014-09-30T17:01:00.000+08:002014-09-30T17:01:02.406+08:00我們沒有將警察妖魔化<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">很多人出來維護警察,說:</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US">1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">警察都是香港人</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US">2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">警隊中都有好人、有有良心的人、有盡心盡力的人</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0gd; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">警察最近日夜工作,很疲累</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0gd; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US">4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">警隊為香港做了很多事,多年來令香港治安良好</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0gd; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd; text-indent: -24.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US">5.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">警察要服從上司命令</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">上述每一點都對,相信大家都不反對。只不過,警隊用過分的暴力去對待大部分和平的示威者,是不爭事實,亦不能因為以上一二三四五點而變得可以接受。根本一二三四五點與他們早前濫用武力,是兩回事,不能混為一談。如果一個男人打老婆,你可不可以對他老婆說:「其實他平日都有給你家用,又幫手煮飯,你就體諒一下他吧。」</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">有接觸過示威者的人,都知道他們並沒有將警察妖魔化。他們不會平白無事在街上見到警察就破口大罵。相反,他們繼續尊重警員,當某警員說了人話,示威者還拍手叫好。</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">任何群體都有好人有壞人,就如阿媽係女人一樣。好的警察我們都尊重,但我們亦親眼看到有個別警員兇殘對待示威人士,例如叫示威者轉身讓他正面近距離向他噴胡椒噴霧,這實在不是純粹在服從命令。</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: "新細明體","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">這都是個別例子,實在無意一概而論。大家最不滿的,亦不是個別警察做了什麼,而是背後指示警隊使用過度武力的人。</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-59915231248305542932014-09-29T15:37:00.000+08:002014-10-03T16:55:36.318+08:00Ten Sayings about the Protesters that Struck Me<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i>This is an English translation of the <a href="http://windowseathk.blogspot.hk/2014/09/blog-post_27.html" target="_blank">Chinese article posted on 27 Sept</a></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">I am not blindly supporting the students. I am
simply supporting anyone who fights for justice. I have heard of a number of
sayings about the protesters and the students, and I would like to respond to
them one by one.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">1. "One person one vote is
already an improvement. Why don't we take it?"</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Let's say your parents are so liberal and merciful
that they allow you to enjoy </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">the </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">freedom to choose your
own bride</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">. The pre-requisite is that they limit
your options to just two women</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"> chosen by them</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">. In the even</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">t</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> you like neither of them, sorry, tough luck. Do you see this as
"freedom to choose"? Would you take it?</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">2. "It's OK even though there is
no real democracy. It has nothing to do with my life."</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Many people think that even though there is no real
democracy, it doesn’t impact them personally. That is not true. Without the
right to elect your own leaders, it means however notorious the people in power
are, they can remain in power as long as they like. They do not need to care
about the needs of ordinary people. They would continue to collude with the
business tycoons, and do their best to defend their interests. They would come
up with every possible policy to facilitate the migration of mainlanders to
Hong Kong so that they could "dilute" the <st1:place w:st="on">Hong
Kong</st1:place> population, despite the fact that intense conflicts have
grown between the two peoples. They could continue to erode Hong Kong's
judicial independence by ordering the judges to be patriotic to <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region>. They
could continue to bullshit, saying things like, the CCP is the largest
democratic force in Hong Kong, and that the fact that the democrats can stay
alive proves <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region>'s
inclusiveness. They continue to stifle the freedom of speech, turning almost
all the newspapers and TV channels into government mouthpieces.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Perhaps you would still think all these do not
bother you. But they are important to people who pursue justice. Please, at
least do not pour cold water on them.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">3. "Students VS the CCP?
Students are bound to lose. What can students do? All will be fruitless!"</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">It has never been easy to fight for what you want
in front of those in power. Back then, how many people had said to Martin
Luther King and Gandhi respectively, that "civil disobedience will not
work out"? If they had given up, what kind of life would African-Americans
and Indians be living today?</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">If everyone obeys the authorities because they
think they would in no way achieve anything by fighting against the government,
there will be no human rights, justice or democracy in the world. Ordinary
people would be slaves for the rich and powerful for ever and ever.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">4. "They are making <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place> chaotic, undermining our economy, damaging HK's
international image."</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Whenever people fight for their political rights
they displease those in power. Are you really calling them trouble-makers for
that?</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Those who said that Occupy Central would severely
damage <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>'s economy have always been
the government, its allies and the rich and powerful. How exactly would
protesters affect the economy? No one could really tell. Even if it may have an
impact, is the economic growth or justice more important?</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Freedom, judicial independence and a clean
government have always been the qualities which uphold <st1:place w:st="on">Hong
Kong</st1:place>'s international image. It is the authorities who more and
more blatantly undermine these qualities, while the people are defending them
in their own ways. Who are the ones who are actually undermining <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>'s international image?</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">There are a lot more demonstrations, protests and
marches in <st1:city w:st="on">London</st1:city> than in <st1:place w:st="on">Hong
Kong</st1:place>. These protests have not seemed to cause any damage to <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">London</st1:place></st1:city>'s economy or its
international image.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">5. "They broke the rules. It's
not right."</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">For decades these pro-democracy campaigners have
abided by the rules, hoping they would reach a solution through dialogue. Only
after it has long proven fruitless, they have finally resorted to civil
disobedience.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Is it always right to abide by the laws and rules?
The reasons behind having laws and rules are to uphold fairness and justice in
the society. However, under an unjust system and totalitarian rule, it is
sometimes necessary to reach a bigger goal by breaking some rules.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Needless to say, not all the rules in the world are
worth being followed. Let's use the same example. What would you think if your
parents say to you, "I've chosen two women for you and you can opt for one
as your wife. This is my house rule. If you don't do as I say, if you want to
meet another girl of your choice, I will punish you as you broke my rule!"</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">The meaning behind civil disobedience is to break
some so-called rules in a non-violent way. The participants are clear that they
may be arrested, which may have tremendous impact on their future. And yet they
are still willing to take the risks. This is the kind of sacrifice not anyone
is ready to make.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA3Gdi9zmDgLHE0MkxGVCVZrqzhn28P5ExAJ8aolpDvJN6kleDwZut62p9cLPOWg2YzArWldxcraf10eVO2ByfqsLSVIp_QKHRQcRTHQUmf8Q-BWbcM5fIF5Qt97xNigVoGEqkMertNwI/s1600/spray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA3Gdi9zmDgLHE0MkxGVCVZrqzhn28P5ExAJ8aolpDvJN6kleDwZut62p9cLPOWg2YzArWldxcraf10eVO2ByfqsLSVIp_QKHRQcRTHQUmf8Q-BWbcM5fIF5Qt97xNigVoGEqkMertNwI/s1600/spray.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a><b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">6. "They are violent. It's not
right."</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">If you have not been to the scene, please do not trust
the reports by most Hong Kong-based media like TVB news. People who have been
there could all see how violent the police force was, and how restrained the
students were.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">Yes,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> the students
climbed through an open fence to reach <st1:street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">Civic Square</st1:address></st1:street>, and pushed down the
barriers under the flags so that they could sit down in the square. If you see
these actions as violence, let me ask you this: "A woman, while being
molested by a man, screamed and pushed him away. Would you call her violent and
disobedient?" When injustice is around us, it is our duty to resist.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">7. "The students were either
manipulated, having fun, or playing heroes. They don't know what they are doing</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">."</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Have you been to the scene to meet the students and
communicate with them before saying this?</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">For days, many have lived outdoor under the baking sun,
lacking sleep. They have not eaten properly and it has even been inconvenient to
find a loo. Many of them face a lot of pressure from their parents and schools.
Some were trapped by the police for more than ten hours. They are taking the
risks of being arrested and having a criminal record. What they’ve been doing
is admirable. Not many people could do as much.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">If you cannot do what they have been doing, please
at least keep quiet </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">and don't show disrespect</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">8. "They are just making noise.
Why can't they negotiate rationally or do something more constructive?"</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Before saying that, please spend some time to
research what the campaigners have done in trying to "negotiate rationally".
Please research how many proposals on political reform they have submitted
in a hope that the government will consider. Any negotiation is two-way. If one
side has already shut the door, how could the other side continue to "negotiate
rationally"? After doing the research, please ask yourself: "If I
were them, is there anything I could do to continue the rational
negotiation?"</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Please also do some research on what they have done
all the way through to be constructive. Only then, ask yourself: "<i>On top of all these</i>, is there anything I
could do to be constructive?"</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">If you cannot come up with a proper answer, please don’t
criticise these people as "unconstructive".</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">9. "The Occupy Central people
are so irresponsible and hypocritical!" "After all this, the
students will just go back to school as usual. What could they achieve?"
"What's the point of striving for democracy under the Chinese Communist
Party’s rule. Why don't they simply launch a coup d’état against the CCP?"</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Some people are opposed to the government and the
CCP rule and yet have disdained those fighting for justice. They’ve blamed the
pan-democratic legislators for having betrayed <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>
people. They’ve blamed the Occupy Central leaders for not being forward enough.
They called the students' actions impulsive and useless.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">There is not much use in discussing anything with
these people. I just want to ask them:</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 48pt; text-indent: -24pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Ø<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">After criticising
almost everyone else, what is your better solution?</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0cm 0cm 6pt 48pt; text-indent: -24pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Ø<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">After blaming
everyone else, aren't you going back to work and living your life as usual? Or
are you planning to launch a coup d’état in <st1:street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">Tiannanmen Square</st1:address></st1:street> instead?</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Even if I could do more than the protesters, I
would never criticise them for not doing enough, as everyone has his own
limitations. And, in any case, the fact is that I would never be able to do
more than what they have done. I will never criticise them for not doing
enough, not being determined enough, or not having sacrificed enough. When
others do what th<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>ey can, I must at least appreciate and
admire.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">10. "I am not interested in
politics. What are they actually fighting for?" "I know nothing about
politics. I don't have a stand."</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Believe it or not. A good number of people still
choose to live in their own bubbles, burying their heads in the sand. They do
not bother to ask any questions or make any statements. They are survivors who
just want to live their lives.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">The problem is that <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>
is a building on fire. The alarm is on. And yet you who live on the 30th floor
say to yourself, "I will be fine. The fire won't spread to the 30th
floor."</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">It is no longer a situation where you can simply say
"just leave me alone". The CCP is boiling a frog. They are bit by bit
breaking the promise of "one country, two systems" to <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place> people. If everyone chooses to bury their head
in the sand, the CCP would gladly speed up totalitarian rule in <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>. Very soon, Hong Kong would then be no different
to the rest of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region>.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">If, one day, your loved one was imprisoned,
tortured and killed only because he had criticised the government, would you
still be able to say, "I am not interested in politics. I have no
stand."</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 6pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Today, you may still think that politics is
abstract. Tomorrow, when you finally realise that politics is affecting your everyday life, it may be too late.</span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;">An <a href="http://www.scmp.com/comment/blogs/article/1606761/my-responses-ten-things-they-say-about-occupy-students" target="_blank">edited version of this article</a> was published on SCMP.com</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-70934154489318845132014-09-27T19:37:00.000+08:002014-09-29T16:10:35.598+08:00令我不安的十種講法<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">我不是盲目支持學生,只是支持追求公義的人。最近聽到或讀到很多人對抗爭人士的種種評論,一次過講我的想法。</span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">1.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「一人一票選特首已經是進步,為何不袋住先?」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">你父母大發慈悲准你自由戀愛,前提是由他們去選定兩個女人給你選擇,假如你喜歡的是其他人,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">Sorry</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,沒有這個</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> option</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。這樣算不算自由戀愛?你會否袋住先?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">2.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「沒有真正民主又如何?對我沒有影響。」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">很多人以為有沒有民主對他們沒有影響。事實是,人民沒有權利選舉當權者,意味着當權者無論如何惡名昭彰,都可以繼續掌權。他們根本不必理會平民的意願,繼續官商勾結,盡心盡力保衛少數富豪的利益;制定各種政策方便內地人來香港落地生根,無視中港矛盾,滲透香港人口;蠶食司法獨立,下令要法官愛國;繼續鬼話連篇,說中共是香港最大的民主派、說泛民能活着證明了國家多包容;扼殺言論自由,令幾乎所有報章和電視台都成為政府喉舌。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">或許你還是覺得以上對你都沒有影響,但對很多追求公義的人來說,卻很重要。即使你不支持他們,也不要因為事情影響不到你自己,而向爭取的人潑冷水。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">3.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「學生鬥共產黨,一定輸。學生做得到什麼?無用的!」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">面對掌權的一方,要爭取任何事情從來都不是容易的。當年,馬丁路德金和甘地身邊多少人亦說:「公民抗命無用的!」假如他們因而中途放棄,非裔美國人和印度人會有今天的權利嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">如果人人都認為平民「鬥不過」政府而甘願做順民,這世界就不會有人權、公義、民主;平民百姓永遠只會是當權者和少數有錢人的奴隸。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">4.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「他們搞亂香港、影響經濟、破壞香港在國際社會的形象,是他們不對。」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">為了爭取政治權利,而做一些當權者看不順眼的事,就是「搞亂」香港?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">佔領中環對經濟的「影響多大」,一直只是政府、權貴、親政府人士說的。抗爭人士究竟如何影響到香港的經濟,誰人說得準?就算有影響,經濟重要還是公義重要?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">香港在國際社會的形象,本來是靠自由、司法獨立、廉潔等質素去維持的。在當權者愈來愈明目張膽地漠視這些素質的同時,是公民繼續用自己的力量去保衛它們,究竟是誰人在破壞香港在國際社會的形象?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">倫敦每年的示威遊行抗爭,比香港更多更洶湧;那不見得影響到倫敦的經濟或國際形象。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">5.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「他們犯規,是他們不對。」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">就因為守規矩守了很多年都無用,想透過對話解決問題但對方不聆聽,人民才去抗命。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">守盡法律、循規蹈矩,是否一定是對?設定法律和規矩的目的,本來是維持社會公平和公義,但在一個不公義的制度和極權的統治下,有時有必要透過違反一些規矩,去爭取更重要的目標。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">況且,世上並不是所有規矩都值得遵守。用同一例子,你父母說:「我選定兩個女子給你,你就得從二選一娶老婆,這是家規,你若不遵從,逕自走去私會別的女子,就是犯規,要嚴懲!」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">公民抗命的意義在於用不暴力的方法去違反所謂的規矩。抗命者明知可能會被檢控而影響前途,仍甘願冒險,不是人人做到的。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">6.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「他們暴力,是他們不對。」</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">沒有到過現場,請勿輕信無線新聞的報導。在現場的人,都看到</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">警方多麼猙獰,</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">學生多麼克制。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">假如你認為爬過鐵欄走入公民廣場、把鐵馬推在地上(然後他們才可以坐在旗杆下)也算暴力的話,我只能問你:如果一個女人被男人非禮時高呼並推開他,你會怪她暴力、不合作嗎?--「當不義成為事實,反抗就是任務。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">7.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「學生或是受人唆擺,或是貪得意,或是想做英雄而已,根本不知道自己在做什麼。」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">說這話的人,有了解過學生嗎?有親自到現場與他們溝通嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">日曬雨淋、連日欠缺睡眠、連吃飯和如廁都不方便、面對家長和學校施壓、有的被困十多小時、面對被捕或留案底的可能</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">……</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">這一切都是值得敬佩的,實在不是人人做得到。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">既然你做不到他們在做的事,就請你尊重自己,少說自以為是的話。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">8.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「只懂吵吵鬧鬧,可否理性討論?可否做些有建設性的事?」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">說這話的人,請認真了解不同意政府決定的人,一路以來用過什麼不同方法嘗試「理性討論」;請認真了解他們提出過多少方案,希望政府會考慮。「理性討論」是相向的;假如一方已經落閘,另一方又如何繼續「理性討論」?了解過後,請自己問自己:如果我是他們,我還有什麼方法可以繼續「理性討論」?</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">亦請認真了解他們一路以來用過什麼不同方法嘗試去「建設」。了解過後,請自己問自己:除了這種種,我還有什麼有建設性的事可以做嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">假如你想不到,請別再這樣批評抗爭的人。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">9.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「佔中班人溫溫吞吞,虛偽!」、「學生出來衝,傷幾個拉幾個,過一排還不一樣乖乖照常上學!」、「如果要爭取,就應該直接推翻共產黨,在中國治下爭取民主有屁用!」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有一類人,同樣反對政府、不滿中央,但是,他們同時亦對其他抗爭的人非常不屑,罵泛民議員賣港、罵佔中發起人不夠狠、罵學生衝動沒用。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">跟他們討論什麼都不會有結果。我只想問他們:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">難道你就真的會到天安門廣場高舉「推翻共產黨」的旗幟嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">即使我能夠做得比他們多,我也不會批評他們做得不夠,畢竟各人有各人的處境。更何況,我根本無法比他們做得更多更好,就絕對沒資格坐在家中批評他們去得不夠盡、做得不夠徹底、沒有死而後已的決心。別人在盡力做他們能力所及的事,我只會欣賞和敬佩。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">10.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「我對政治無興趣,其實他們為什麼要抗爭?」、「我不懂政治,沒有立場。」</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">的確還有一大批人,繼續甘願做一舊雲,或一隻駝鳥,不聞不問,但願可以明哲保身。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">問題是,今天的香港是一幢著了火的大廈,警鐘響起了,在三十樓的你還對自己說:「沒事的,不會燒到三十樓來的。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">情況已不再是「人不犯我,我不犯人」那麼簡單。中共溫水煮蛙,已在一步一步推翻「一國兩制」的承諾。如果人人做駝鳥,他們還不樂於加快步伐、盡快極權治港?很快,香港就與中國其他地方無異……假如有一日,你的摰親因為發表了不滿政府的說話而被禁錮、被虐打、被自殺,你還可以說「我對政治無興趣,我沒有立場」嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">今天,你還以為政治很遙遠,明天,當你發現原來政治影響每一個人的生活大小事,或許已經太遲。</span><br />
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<i style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.6666660308838px;"><a href="http://windowseathk.blogspot.hk/2014/09/ten-sayings-about-protesters-that.html" target="_blank">English translation of the same article</a></i></div>
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The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-88497034364744618312014-09-18T12:03:00.000+08:002014-09-18T12:03:05.057+08:00北京騙案<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">上一篇提及在北京旅遊時被騙去二百元,現寫出事發始末,讓大家引以為鑑。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我和英國人與爸媽到北京四人行,某天遊過北海公園後,又熱又累,便打算坐的士回酒店,等了很久才有一輛的士停下來,問過我們的目的地,才肯開門載客,真巴閉。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">到了酒店,他沒有駛進門口,卻在附近小路停車。車費三十元,車未停定他便給坐在身旁的英國人七十元找贖,示意我們給他一百元。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我當時只想讓爸媽盡快回酒店休息,便快快拿出一張一百元。司機拿着紙幣看看,指那紙幣中間裂開了一點,不肯收。我取回鈔票,給他另一張。這次他看了看又說,不收舊鈔,要新的。我取回紙幣,心想這張一百元怎會舊?他也不耐煩說:「算了算了,你給我三十元。」我在錢包拿了三十元給他,他便取回起初給我們的七十元找贖。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">下車後,我問英國人:「你覺得那個司機有可疑嗎?」他說:「他是有點奇怪,但應該沒可疑吧。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWfjLHdTiF79L-de-3bgyhYAjxYYbC6XXxSbrfS1dc9aN1flE-5Q5EbOc6bzdHPuBfoyNbgCE2e4S7HCiBHcLOIk3KgiJEouzgAtcXii2pPhXXb98_ljWiuKdv4TC-QHe4x4-17ZCIKhQ/s1600/20140919_counterfeit1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWfjLHdTiF79L-de-3bgyhYAjxYYbC6XXxSbrfS1dc9aN1flE-5Q5EbOc6bzdHPuBfoyNbgCE2e4S7HCiBHcLOIk3KgiJEouzgAtcXii2pPhXXb98_ljWiuKdv4TC-QHe4x4-17ZCIKhQ/s1600/20140919_counterfeit1.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">同日晚上,我們約了北京的朋友</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Robin </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">吃飯。我結賬時,侍應發現其中兩張一百元紙幣是偽鈔。起初我很驚訝,因我的人民幣全都是從香港銀行取得,何來偽鈔?我們將下午坐的士的遭遇告訴</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Robin</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,他一聽就知道,那司機神不知鬼不覺就將我先後遞給他的兩張一百元移花接木,換成偽鈔,「還給」我們。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">Robin </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">還解釋,司機故意不在酒店門前停車,因他知道酒店職員會記下他的車牌和姓名,他就是要避開這手續,到你們發現他行騙,也無法追究。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">原來這陣子北京流出很多一百元偽鈔,所以商店和餐廳結賬時都會逐一查看。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">Robin </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">還提醒我們,假如在北京用櫃員機提款,亦應避免那種可存款又可提款的,因為有人將偽鈔存進櫃員機後,你提款時便很容易中伏。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">真相大白。那短短十分鐘的車程,我們付了</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> 230 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">元人民幣。破財事小,被騙的感覺才糟透。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我對</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Robin </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">說,香港很多朋友已不再到內地旅遊,有些是因為政治環境,但有更多是因為曾在內地有類似遭遇,感到內地不安全。那騙子這樣劫走我二百元,是迫我加入我朋友的行列,叫我不再遊內地。他這樣子每天都在車廂中盤算如何騙財,晚上還睡得着嗎?</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 17pt;">Robin </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; line-height: 17pt;">想必覺得我太天真,語氣非常肯定地說:他們根本不會想這些,他們只是想自己的錢包。</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-33277580229366454912014-09-17T10:51:00.000+08:002014-09-18T12:03:39.229+08:00電視 政治 香港<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">那天跟英國人亂說無聊話,他說了一句自大的話(已忘了是什麼),我便說:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">"Your ego is bigger than our
marriage!" </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">他聽罷說:「你這句是哪裡抄來的?簡直就像</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> TVB </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">電視劇的對白!」我說:「你又知</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> TVB </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">電視劇的對白是怎樣!」他說:「不用聽得明,也知道盡是俗不可耐的貨色。他們每齣劇都大同小異,人人住大屋,無論在哪都衣著光鮮,即使剛睡醒都頭髮亮麗;要不就是很優雅地在酒吧或咖啡店談話;要不就是一幫人圍在飯桌吃飯,某人說了什麼,然後其他人總是臉露很驚訝的神情;要不就是激動地掌摑對方;要不就是槍林彈雨</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">……</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">來來去去都這樣。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">這是基於他每星期有一晚在我爸媽家吃過飯後坐在沙發陪他們看無線電視劇,而得出的結論。相當精準。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbjMeBDfaOMOK0xX2sfqM2sgH9WFQ2nrPaxhlTj0RyWGfqZ8mJPjCf6TorPTRFD_Y76Hmg4p03BTQpt5N83doZySAhmFiwn8w5BEn1TLmJicc0q-V1PDMl-BikvdHug5DzKHXgvG02JGI/s1600/tvb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbjMeBDfaOMOK0xX2sfqM2sgH9WFQ2nrPaxhlTj0RyWGfqZ8mJPjCf6TorPTRFD_Y76Hmg4p03BTQpt5N83doZySAhmFiwn8w5BEn1TLmJicc0q-V1PDMl-BikvdHug5DzKHXgvG02JGI/s1600/tvb.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我和英國人平日幾乎不看電視,只是在爸媽家吃飯那天晚上,才看一點無線電視劇。爸媽多年來習慣長開無線,一邊吃飯一邊看,飯後整晚的節目還是繼續看。最近,我興起搬回娘家住了幾天,那幾天無可避免地斷斷續續看了相當時數的劇集;來去都是那幾張面孔,都是浮誇的演技,牽強的巧合,婆媽的男女糾結,俗不可耐的對白,毫不幽默的爛笑話。這真是我的感覺--再看下去的話,體內的什麼就要腐爛了。於是便到睡房保持冷靜。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有時我會訝異,英國人比我大幾歲,卻似乎懂得的比我多很多,思想比我成熟很多,胸襟比我開闊得多。想想其實很合理--他是看</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> BBC </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">大的,我是看</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> TVB </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">大的。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">為什麼香港人不可以有正常質素的電視節目?是我們不配嗎?作為普通市民,我舉腳贊成引入競爭發牌給香港電視。可是,作為普通市民,我沒有選舉領導人的權利,梁振英何須理會我的意願。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">很多人以為有沒有民主對他們的生活沒有什麼影響。事實呢,人民沒有權利選舉當權者,意味着當權者無論如何惡名昭彰,都可以大刺刺地繼續掌權。他們根本不必理會平民的意願,繼續大模斯樣地官商勾結,將地都賣給發展商建豪宅,懶理貧窮線下一百萬人的住屋問題,盡心盡力保衛少數富豪的利益;制定各種政策方便內地人來香港落地生根,無視中港矛盾,滲透香港人口;蠶食司法獨立,下令要法官愛國;繼續鬼話連篇,說中共是香港最大的民主派、說泛民能活着證明了國家多包容;扼殺言論自由,令幾乎所有報章和電視台都成為政府喉舌;縱容無線一台獨大,在沒有競爭的情況下(亞視不算是競爭)繼續製作劣質節目。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">由無線說到民主,並沒有拉得太遠。生活大小事都與平民擁有多少政治權利有關。我和英國人,最近幾乎說起大小事情,都不期然討論起香港的政治和(假)民主進程。他關心香港的政治比我尤甚,看盡了英文報導後,還要看中文台的新聞,要我用英文概括給他聽。最近又買了有關香港歷史的書來讀,說:「我大概會在這裡住很久,當然要認識她的歷史。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">朋友曾形容英國人像一尊佛,總是很平和、滿足、慈祥的樣子(慈祥!)。他的確</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> EQ </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">很高。平日十之八九是我情緒低落,他來開解我的。難得有一次感到他鬱鬱不歡,我大為緊張,以為發生了什麼大悲劇連這尊佛也鬱悶起來。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">原來他有感來香港三年多了,廣東話學來學去都進步不大,很沮喪。我說:「你下班後只剩那少少時間和精神,沒有放棄已很難得。比起很多鬼佬,你的廣東話已經很好!」他說:「那是因為你們對鬼佬的期望太低,只要聽到我們說一句唔該或早晨,就嘖嘖稱奇。以我的進度,我真的看不到自己究竟何年何月才能聽得明你們說的話!」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">為此如此懊惱,因他真的很希望融入這城。當所有人都說香港已死,身邊有個人卻這麼誠懇地喜歡這地方,竟真的令我安慰。他分得很開,認為把這城弄到死氣沉沉的是那些當權的人,但當權者並不代表這個地方和她的公民。他說:「我也不希望別人看到卡梅倫,就誤以為英國就是這樣。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">他覺得像香港一個這麼小的城市,很難得這麼</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">
dynamic</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">;有山有海有郊野有石屎,有很戲劇化又有趣的歷史,有這城多年來賴以成功的人民素質;還有基建、交通,和最重要的美食,都是他喜歡住在香港的原因。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">和這尊佛去旅行,有一件事很有趣。在外地遇到好人好事良辰美景,他會讚嘆這地方的好;當遇到偷呃搶騙無理對待,他會讚嘆香港的好。彷彿無論遇到什麼事,他都看到好的一面。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">早前我們與爸媽到北京四人行,<a href="http://windowseathk.blogspot.hk/2014/09/blog-post_18.html" target="_blank">被的士司機騙去二百元人民幣</a>,我發現後當然生氣又氣餒。當我變成<span style="background: white;">洩</span>了氣的氣球,英國人說幸好這些事不會(極少)在香港發生。沒錯香港<span style="background: white;">的的士司機當中,不乏會扮</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E8%BF%B7%E8%B7%AF" title="迷路"><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; color: windowtext; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span lang="EN-US">唔識路</span></span></a></span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">、走白路、說</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%AB%92%E8%A9%B1" title="髒話"><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; color: windowtext; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span lang="EN-US">髒話</span></span></a></span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">、超速飛車等。雖<span style="background: white;">然他們名聲不算好,但卻很少會像大陸</span>司機那樣猖獗,偷呃搶騙。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">而在北京,就算甘願冒險上賊車,想找輛的士坐卻根本一點不易。有時與其站在馬路邊吸塵等車,不如坐地鐵。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">北京地鐵好像有十五條線(對着五顏六色的鐵路網絡圖,要數數有多少條線,也不是一時三刻數得清),轉線幾乎是每次乘地鐵必經的事。須轉線本來已經不便,更麻煩的,是每每轉線都要行幾條街,上完又落,落完又上,究竟到未?我們其實只坐兩個站,由燈市口到王府井,但轉線時走路花的時間,比乘車的時間還長幾倍。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">當我們在討論究竟還要走多遠才到月台時,英國人說,我們在香港習慣了由這邊月台行過對面月台轉線只消幾秒鐘,只有鰂魚涌站最例外--在那裡由港島線轉乘將軍澳線,要行的路已嫌太多。卻原來在外地搭地鐵,這是多麼普遍的事。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">不愧為佛,無論遇到什麼事,他都會想,香港真好。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">我就想,在這陰霾密佈的</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體;">香港</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體;">,有他在身邊,真好。</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-60583533492321886642014-08-21T18:57:00.001+08:002014-08-21T18:58:53.451+08:00三種「落閘」法<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">獨白是</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> monologue</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,對話是</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> dialogue</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,可是,很多時兩個人看似在對話,其實是在自說自話,只是兩段</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> monologues </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">在同時發生。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">A </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">只想把獨白說完,無論</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> B </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">說什麼回應,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">A </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">都只會繼續說那段獨白。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">你唔明</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">讀書時認識一個人,她每年考第一。某年失手考了個第二,傷心到對我說不想做人。我說:「其實考第二已很令人羨慕,而且最重要是你已很努力,別把名次看太重。」她哭着說:「你未考過第一,你唔明架啦!」我無話可說。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">一路成長,身邊總是遇到人愛說:「你都未試過</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> XYZ</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,你唔明架啦!」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">A </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">發現台灣藉男友有外遇而痛不欲生,當我勸說長痛不如短痛,她說:「你都未試過同台灣男仔拍拖,你唔明(他有多好)架啦!」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">B </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">日夜埋怨工作令她不快樂,當我鼓勵她跳槽,她說:「你都未試過做到這個位置,你唔明架啦。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">C </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">因為媽媽和老婆相處不來而極為苦惱,我建議他暫時不要讓兩個女人天天相見(他們每晚回母親家吃飯),他說:「你未試過做夾心人,你唔明架啦!」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">D </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">生了一對孖女後幾乎足不出戶,天天在家照顧孩子,但同時總是埋怨「快屈死」;我勸她間中將孩子交給家人,給自己一些時間放鬆,她說:「你未做過人阿媽,你唔明架啦。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">無論任何情況,只要你不認同對方,只一句「你都未試過,你唔明架啦」,就可以令對方無話可說。說這話的人,似乎沒有聆聽對方的意見,而是在為溝通「落閘」。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">這樣子「落閘」確實容易又方便。說到底,任何人在經歷的任何一個境況,都獨一無二。以</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> A </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">為例,即使我告訴她,我曾與台灣男人拍過拖,她也會說:「但我和他在一起六年了,你唔明架啦!」即使我再告訴她,我與我那位台灣男友也是拍拖六年,她也會說:「但,是他帶我入這一行的,他對我影響很深,你唔會明架啦!」無論如何都會找到「你唔會明」的理由。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">以這邏輯,是不是只有曾經經歷與她一模一樣處境的人,便能真正明白她?她是假設任何人都沒有能力設身處地去體諒別人處境;她似乎一邊廂渴望得到別人的諒解,但另一邊廂,無論別人說什麼,卻說對方不會明白。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">既然世上沒有兩個處境是完全一樣的,那麼一來,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">ABCD </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">君不必說那麼多,只要一句:「你唔係我,你唔明架啦」,已足以「落閘」。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">無資格</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">另外一種「落閘」法叫「無資格」。他們不是假設你不明白,而是說,你不在我身處的境況,則「無資格說三道四」。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">早前寫了一篇文章,講到社會把單身女士叫作</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> spinster </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">這現象。有一個女子留言說:「你都嫁人了,又不是</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">
spinster</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,還寫這個幹嗎!」認真想想,嫁作人妻,是否就「無資格」討論單身女人所受的壓力?推而廣之,國際評論員既不是身處北韓的人,就「無資格」就北韓的政局「說三道四」?香港評論員既沒有做過特首,就「無資格」就特首的施政「說三道四」?我們還有可能讀到可信的評論嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">認識了一個本土派人士,篤信香港的任何政策、設施、文化活動都應以香港人優先。我說不贊同,我認為一個多元社會,其政策和法律應該保障住在這地的人,包括新移民、外傭、外藉人士。例如,我認為最低工資亦應保障外傭。又例如,既然終審法院裁定居港滿七年才可申領綜援的規定是違憲,那麼,我認為未住滿七年的人亦可申領,是合法合理。</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我表達過這些觀點後,那人說:「你說的容易,你隨時可跟你老公移民到英國,香港的資源對你來說當然不那麼重要了。」後來,我在他的</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Facebook </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">看到他寫了這一句:「有移民後着的人,沒資格就本土主義說三道四。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">身處香港,任何人只要有決心,其實還是有方法可移居外地。身邊有朋友就隻身走到倫敦,在簽證到期前瘋狂找工作,終於找到僱主聘用,留在那裡生活。拜託,不要把自己說得那麼可憐--「我無得揀,我只可以一世留在香港。」說這話之前,你有試過找方法嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">你和我都一樣,留在香港,是選擇,並非迫於無奈。而命運使然,我嫁了一個英國人,但不代表我對這城的感情比你薄弱。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">身邊的確有很多朋友鼓勵我跟英國人移居英國,尤其近日香港的政治環境愈來愈灰暗,他們都問:「有得走,為什麼留?」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我對一個朋友說:「身邊愈來愈多香港人想移民,但我真的很慶幸,英國人卻那麼喜歡香港!」朋友不假思索就回答說:「那因為他是過客,香港的將來對他沒影響呀。若然一個男人明知不必對身邊的女人講將來,而只是共處一段日子的話,當然會覺得那女人特別可愛,亦會對她特別包容。」典型的港式</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
cynicism</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在這裡居住三年多、學廣東話、全職工作、結婚買樓、關心政治--如果這樣子還是過客,或許任何人也只是任何地方的過客吧。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">說到底,是本地人也好是過客也好,是中國人也好是埃塞俄比亞人也好,只要是以事論事,都可以評論本土主義。為什麼不?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">有咩用?</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">最近還見識到另一種「落閘」法,就是:「任何不跟從我方法的,都是壞方法,都沒用。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">近日這種政治氣氛下,很多人都用不同方法、在不同平台發表意見或發起行動。間中遇到一些人,對任何不是他們發起或主張的行動都批評為--「欺騙無知市民的技倆、浪費時間、自我麻醉、無用」。爭取平反六四無用,參加燭光晚會無用,在網上平台揭露社會不公義也沒用,在政府諮詢期提交意見更無用,六二二公投無用,七一上街無用,佔領中環無用。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">那麼,你認為怎樣做才有用?他們卻說不出具體做法。他們頂多只說還在找尋,或正在試驗他們的方法;然後,繼續聲嘶力竭叫我跟隨他們,「不要做其他那些無用的事」。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">跟這些人對話,他們是必勝的。因為他們是自己的信徒。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我欣賞有很多人認真思考「有什麼事可以為香港做」這個問題。只要目標是公義,即使方法不同,都應該予以鼓勵。相反,互相排斥、互相指「你這樣做無用」,不但不會令任何事情變得更有用,更會削弱本來方向一致的群眾力量,只會令當權者暗笑。無論如何,沒有權力的公民都在這裡拼命掙扎,你還以這種「落閘」法潑冷水,這就是你可以為香港做的事嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「勿以善少而不為」,即使明知效用不大,只要是公義的事就做。我也欣賞「知其不可為而為之」,明知做不到卻堅持去做。兩者都是指那些不求結果、但求過程的行動。假如,要等到一個大家也認為「有用」的方法才去行動,那麼,當權者想要為所欲為的話也就太容易了。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我的人生裡,如果我從來只會做有用、有效果、有結果的事,那麼,讀中學時就不會有那一場暗戀、我亦不會讀那些小說、寫那麼多信給朋友、大學時也不會多花一年到美國做交流生、畢業後不會做記者、後來也不會讀法律、也不會免費幫小朋友補習、一路以來不會寫文章、現在也不會寫這篇文。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-19317176476690512152014-07-31T18:09:00.000+08:002014-07-31T18:09:16.201+08:007 Myths of Mao<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Since I
left school, I hardly ever wrote about the books I read. This time, though, I
feel the urge to write about one I've just finished - <i>Mao: The Unknown
Story</i> written by Jung Chang and Jon Halliday. I have this urge because
I hope more people would read it. To be more precise, I think <i>everyone
should read it</i>.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgpMHLCEF3GKpTSom1sFXnoigE83xVzzK4IY22_QWjtK5suO1OOzjBe-x6hy9n-Br96WDN_FMUE2aCURphJ7YrWyr8t3EXjIzgjwwretYiVYk50bk6OeWkm-Xnlcf3MDlk1hXxUIhAVYE/s1600/20140731_Mao.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgpMHLCEF3GKpTSom1sFXnoigE83xVzzK4IY22_QWjtK5suO1OOzjBe-x6hy9n-Br96WDN_FMUE2aCURphJ7YrWyr8t3EXjIzgjwwretYiVYk50bk6OeWkm-Xnlcf3MDlk1hXxUIhAVYE/s1600/20140731_Mao.jpg" height="248" width="320" /></a><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">When we
hear stories about Mao Zedong, it is very difficult for us to distinguish
propaganda from myth, rumour from reality. For example, while it is public
knowledge that there were catastrophes under Mao's reign, kind-hearted people
will tend to assume that at least Mao's <i>intentions</i> were good.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">The
authors of this book resolve some of these mysteries. Instead of doing a
book review, I am going to let the book speak for itself by citing seven key excerpts
(in <i>italics</i> below). I then leave it to you to decide whether
you would also take the time to read the book.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">1. Private
Life</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Mao
married four women in his life. His first marriage was arranged by his father,
though Mao never regarded the woman as his wife. His second wife, after giving
birth to three sons for Mao, he abandoned. She was later executed, a direct
result of Mao's attacking her city, <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Changsha</st1:place></st1:city>.
Barely four months after he left her, Mao married for the third time. Through
all his marri</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">age</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">s, he also had numerous affairs,
lovers and girlfriends, including orgies with young dancing girls and
actresses, till his very late years. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">He</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> tended
to see women only in terms of what they could do for him, only to later dismiss
them when they had stopped being useful.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">"For Gui-y</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">u</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">an
(his third wife), Mao's flagrant womanising was the last straw. Over their
marriage of nearly ten years, she had had to live with her husband's
heartlessness. She was particularly hurt by his callousness towards her painful
pregnancies and childbirth - including one on the Long March - and by his crack
that she gave birth to babies 'as easily as a hen dropping eggs'. And she was
bitter that although he was indifferent to children, and had not cared when
four of theirs had died or been abandoned, he repeatedly made her pregnant.
Their fifth child, a daughter called Chiao-chiao, was born in <st1:chmetcnv hasspace="True" negative="False" numbertype="1" sourcevalue="1936" tcsc="0" unitname="in" w:st="on">1936 in</st1:chmetcnv> Baoan, where conditions were
appalling, with scorpions and rats running all over the place. A year later,
Gui-yuan was pregnant again, which plunged her into depression. Repeated child-bearing
in harsh circumstances had severely damaged her health, without the
compensation of family life. Now, on top of this, her husband was openly
sleeping with other women…</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">[Mao’s]
girlfriends provided him with sex, and served him as maids and nurses... Meng,
the former actress, longed to leave, and asked her fellow nurse Yu-feng to put
in a plea for her, saying that she was nearly thirty years old and wanted to
spend some time with her husband so that she could have a child. 'Wait till
after I die and then she can have a child,' was Mao's reply."</span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">2. The
Long March </span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Mao has
long been portrayed as the courageous hero who led the Long March. The real
story, according to the book, was very different:<i> </i></span><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">"</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">[O</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">fficers</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">]</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">
voiced bitter feelings about the way their leaders had abandoned the wounded,
and turned ordinary soldiers into 'sedan-chair bearers' for the VIPs and their
wives... Mao and the other leaders had 'sat in sedan chairs' all through the
March... Not having to walk made the difference between life and death... While
the elite all survived, sheer exhaustion killed many of their much younger
litter-carriers, nurses and bodyguards, who were often in their teens - and
some as young as twelve or thirteen</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">."</span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">3. Rule
by Terror</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">In the 1940s,
a large number of passionate young volunteers flocked to Mao ready to serve the
country, with equality as the core of their idealism. They were soon
disillusioned by witnessing the privileges the leaders enjoyed over the others.
When the enthusiasts spoke up against the inequalities, Mao suppressed them
with torture and terror.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">"For
month after month, life in Yenan centred on interrogations - and terrifying
mass rallies, at which some young volunteers were forced to confess to being
spies and to name others in front of large crowds who had been whipped into a
frenzy... All forms of relaxation, like singing and dancing, were stopped. The
only moments alone afforded no peace either, consumed as they were in writing
'thought examinations' - a practice hitherto known only in fascist <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Japan</st1:place></st1:country-region>. 'Get
everybody to write their thought examination,' Mao ordered, 'and write three
times, five times, again and again... Tell everyone to spill out every single
thing they have ever harboured and is not so good for the Party.' In addition,
everybody was told to write down information passed unofficially by other
people - termed 'small broadcasts' by the regime... Through forcing people to
report 'small broadcasts', Mao succeeded to a very large extent in getting
people to inform on each other. He thus broke trust between people, and scared
them off exchanging views not just at the time in Yenan, but in the future... Information
starvation gradually induced brain death - assisted vastly by the absence of
any outlet for thinking, since one could not communicate with anyone, or put
one's thoughts on paper, even privately. During the campaign, people were put
under pressure to hand in the diaries. In many a mind, there also lurked the
fear of thinking, which appeared not only futile but also dangerous.
Independent thinking withered away.” </span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: ZH-HK;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">4. The
Great Leap Forward </span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Instead
of making <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">China</st1:country-region></st1:place>
an advanced economy, the Great Leap Forward's real goal was militaristic. Mao
extracted food from the population to pay other countries in return for arms
and military technologies. His ultimate goal was to establish <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region> as a
military superpower. What's more, while other counties took generations to
achieve this, he wanted to do it within his own lifetime. And he did this in
full knowledge that millions of his own people were literally starving to
death. These millions meant nothing to him - in fact, he was ready to sacrifice
many more millions to achieve his aim.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">"His guideline for the
cities was 'Production first, Life takes second place'... </span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">The
urban meat ration declined annually from <st1:chmetcnv hasspace="True" negative="False" numbertype="1" sourcevalue="5.1" tcsc="0" unitname="kg" w:st="on">5.1 kg</st1:chmetcnv> per person in 1957 to an all-time low of just
over <st1:chmetcnv hasspace="True" negative="False" numbertype="1" sourcevalue="1.5" tcsc="0" unitname="kg" w:st="on">1.5 kg</st1:chmetcnv> in
1960. People were told to eat 'food substitutes'. One was a green roe-like
substance called chlorella, which grew in urine and contained some protein... That
year (1960), the regime's own statistics recorded, average daily calorie intake
fell to 1534.8. According to a major apologist for the regime, Han Suyin, urban
housewives were getting a maximum 1200 calories a day in 1960. At <st1:place w:st="on">Auschwitz</st1:place>, slave-labourers got between 1300 and 1700
calories per day. They were worked about eleven hours a day. and most who did
not find extra food died within several months. During the famine, some
resorted to cannibalism... While all this was happening, there was plenty of
food in state granaries, which were guarded by the army. Some food was simply
allowed to rot... But the order from above was: 'Absolutely no opening the
granary door even if people are dying of starvation'... Close to 38 million
people died of starvation and overwork in the Great Leap Forward and the
famine, which lasted four years... During the two critical years 1958-9, grain
exports alone, almost exactly <st1:chmetcnv hasspace="False" negative="False" numbertype="1" sourcevalue="7" tcsc="0" unitname="m" w:st="on">7m</st1:chmetcnv>
tons, would have provided the equivalent of over 840 calories per day for 38
million people - the difference between life and death...<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">Although
slaughter was not his purpose with the Leap, he (Mao) was more than ready for
myriad deaths to result... At the May 1958 congress that kicked off the Leap,
he told his audience they should not only not fear, but should actively
welcome, people dying as a result of their Party's policy... <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">[Mao]</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">
had said, 'We are prepared to sacrifice 300 million Chinese for the victory of
the world revolution.' That was about half the population of China then. Indeed,
Mao told the Party congress on 17 May 1958: 'Don't make a fuss about a world
war. At most, people die... Half the population wiped out - this happened quite
a few times in Chinese history... It's best if half the population is left,
next best one-third...</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">'"</span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">5.
Cultural Revolution</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Despite
the name, real target of Mao’s Cultural Revolution had nothing to do with
culture,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">nor revolution. It was to get rid
of anyone in the Party who had shown any resistance to him. He proceeded in
stages.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">"In June, Mao intensified
the terrorisation of society. He picked as his first instrument of terror young
people in schools and universities, the natural hotbeds for activists. These
students were told to condemn their teachers and those in charge of education
for poisoning their heads with 'bourgeois ideas' - and for persecuting them
with exams, which henceforth were abolished...</span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">After
terror in schools, Mao directed his Red Guards to fan out into society at
large. The targets at this stage were the custodians of culture, and culture
itself... They 'confiscated' valuables, and beat up the owners. Bloody house
raids swept across <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region>,
which People's Daily hailed as 'simply splendid'. Many of those raided were
tortured to death in their own homes. Some were carted off to makeshift torture
chambers in what had been cinemas, theatres and sports stadiums... Some
families who had been raided were exiled to villages, escalating a process
which Mao had already initiated in order to turn cities into 'pure' industrial
centres. In <st1:place w:st="on">Peking</st1:place>, nearly 100,000 were
expelled in less than a month from late August.</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">..</span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">By
mid-September, the country was thoroughly terrorised and Mao felt confident
enough to start stalking his real target: Party officials... the old enforcers
who had shown distaste for Mao's extremist policies. Mao aimed to get rid of
them en masse, and the call went out to attack them right across <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region>... The
first senior official tortured to death was the minister of coal, on 21 January
1967. Mao hated him because he had complained about the Great Leap Forward -
and about Mao himself. He was exhibited in front of organised crowds, and had
his arms twisted ferociously backwards in the form of torment known as being
'jet-planed'. One day he was shoved onto a bench, bleeding, shirtless in a
temperature well below freezing, while thugs rushed forward to cut him with
small knives. Finally, a huge iron stove was hung round his neck, dragging his
head down to the cement floor, where his skull was bashed in with heavy brass
belt buckles."</span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">6. Extravagance</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">While Mao
cracked down on bribery, tax evasion, pilfering state property, cheating, and
stealing economic information (the "five-antis"), he himself was
exempt.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">"Mao himself did not
embezzle in the conventional way... he treated the funds of the state as his
own, and used them however he wanted... Mao liked villas. During his
twenty-seven-year rule, well over fifty estates were created for him, no fewer
than five in <st1:place w:st="on">Peking</st1:place>. Many he never set foot
in. These estates were set in enormous grounds, mostly in gorgeous locations.
So, in many places of great beauty, the whole mountain, or long stretches of
lakes, were cordoned off for his exclusive use... When he flew, every other
plane in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region>
was grounded. And when his special train moved, always setting off at a
moment's notice, the country's railway system was thrown into chaos, as other
trains were not allowed to be anywhere near his."</span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">7. Mao's
Mistreatment of Chou En-lai</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Chou
En-lai served Mao for decades, since long before he came to power until his very
late years. In spite of all this loyal service, Mao denied Chou treatment when
he was diagnosed cancer in 1972.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">"The
doctors had to report first to Mao</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">.</span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">
They requested immediate surgery for Chou, stressing that the cancer was at an
early stage, and that prompt action could cure it. On 31 May, Mao decreed:
'First: keep it secret, and don't tell the premier or [his wife]. Second: no
examination. Third: no surgery...' One reason Mao did not want Chou to go to
hospital and be treated was in order for Chou to be available to work round the
clock to deal with foreign statesmen... But entertaining visiting statesmen was
not the sole, or even the principal reason why Mao vetoed surgery for Chou. Mao
wanted Chou around in the short term, but he did not want him cured, as he did
not want Chou, four years his junior, to outlive him. This was miserable reward
for decades of service, which had involved a care for his master's health that
reached far beyond the call of any duty. Chou had even tested some of Mao's
medicines on himself, and tried out Mao's eye-drops - 'to see whether this
stings', as he put it...Chou himself then practically begged, via the four top
leaders designated by Mao to supervise his medical 'care'. At this point, Mao
reluctantly gave his consent... It was only now that he was allowed his first
proper operation, two years after his cancer had been diagnosed. This delay
made sure that he died nineteen months later, and before Mao."</span></i><i><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">Closing Thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">As I read
the book, I felt very thankful to the authors for having taken the tremendous
amount of time and effort in doing the research and putting it into writing.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">
T</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">hey interviewed hundreds of people who were close to Mao, many very
aged and ready to open up for the first time. They also delved deep into
archives that opened up following the fall of the <st1:place w:st="on">Soviet
Union</st1:place>, in order to tell a story of Mao that previously was
genuinely unknown.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPY6CNE7LYdVzKaIVvrgZ-DwEjFSFBze7f0BlidG-k5SQt7aw5OND5htY0RWyhfTMDlJhMMMwuMHVhJw4k1aLuK_3DZxq4g5NSrontWQXOl5zr3GT1Y28PVwDxqri9hYw-gP40ephduPs/s1600/20140731_Mao+book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: transparent; clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPY6CNE7LYdVzKaIVvrgZ-DwEjFSFBze7f0BlidG-k5SQt7aw5OND5htY0RWyhfTMDlJhMMMwuMHVhJw4k1aLuK_3DZxq4g5NSrontWQXOl5zr3GT1Y28PVwDxqri9hYw-gP40ephduPs/s1600/20140731_Mao+book.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">I was
also thankful to get hold of the book, which remains unavailable on the
Mainland. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">Its Chinese edition was published only in <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>, as the plan to release a </span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Taiwanese
edition</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> was abandoned. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">According
to the authors, during the civil war some</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">leading
Nationalists had actually been covert Communists. One such "sleeper"</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> was Hu Tsung-nan</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">, a senior National Revolutionary Army </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">general.
When the book was about to be published in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Taiwan</st1:place></st1:country-region>, Hu's son objected to this
description, and his threat of legal action led the publishers to abandon
the release of the book.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">As for
the Mainland, naturally enough, the book is banned</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">
altogether</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">. After Mao's death, his successor Deng Xiao-ping
gave an official <span style="background: #FCFFF5;">verdict about him,
saying that Mao had been 70 percent correct and 30 percent wrong. Despite any
flaws, Deng said, Mao had kept the country on the right path. </span>Visitors
still see Mao's portrait dominate <st1:place w:st="on">Tiananmen Square</st1:place>
as </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">the</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"> main national symbol.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 16pt;">To me, this
makes the book all the more powerful. History this may be, but it’s not
all in the past. While the CCP remains in charge and continues to venerate this
man, it casts a long shadow over our future. As a Hong Konger, and especially at
this time, I feel very strongly we are still living with the consequences.</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-40015843348819505042014-06-24T10:15:00.000+08:002014-06-24T14:43:16.385+08:00大衛與歌利亞的九年耐力戰<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">除了在髮型屋為了打發時間外,平日我已經不看娛樂雜誌。那天在媽媽家裡卻拿起《明周》,翻到內頁把一篇張崇德、劉美娟的訪問,由頭到尾細讀了一遍。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">那一期的《明周》以彭順的婚外情為封面故事,但,第</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> 52 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">頁那篇張崇德、劉美娟的訪問,才是我心中的封面故事。那篇報導沒有娛樂圈新聞的風花雪月,而是關係到一個大家都應重視的問題。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">張崇德兒子張天藍的夭折案,經過九年折騰終於有判決,婦產科醫生蔡明欣因專業失德被判停牌兩年。驟眼看這幾頁文字說的不過是一件案、一些數字,和很多的醫學名詞。然而我看到的,卻是張崇德夫婦那非一般的堅毅。他們以雞蛋拼高牆的決心,以九年寶貴時間,為亡兒尋求真相;實在值得我們停下來感受一下,這兩個人九年來所經歷的痛。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">雖然我不是媽媽,但也想像到懷胎十月會與體內嬰孩產生那種程度的親密感。滿心期待誕下兒子,他活了</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> 26 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">小時就離世。驗屍報告說死因是頭部出血,但不用開死因裁判庭。但,為什麼會頭部出血?沒有答案。他們去信衛福局及醫委會投訴,不獲受理。醫委會推說資料不足。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">劉美娟誕下兒子後,像其他媽媽一樣都會坐月。但,那是沒有孩子的坐月。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">除了哀悼,他們花了人生寶貴的九年,停掉工作,賣掉物業以支付七位數字的律師費,好不容易透過民事訴訟取得醫<span style="font-size: 12pt;">療</span>報告,於<span lang="EN-US"> 2009 </span>年終於有足夠資料向醫委會投訴,再經過千絲萬縷的手續,聆訊才在<span lang="EN-US"> 2014 </span>年開始;前後經歷十次聆訊、重複翻看令人抑鬱的錄影帶和資料、重複經歷兒子的生和死。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">這九年間,劉美娟再誕下一子一女,身邊很多人都勸說:「放下吧」、「原諒吧」、「向前看」、「已獲得賠償,拿了錢,還搞什麼」、「都有一子一女了,還求什麼」。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">難道在哀悼亡兒的同時,花盡心力、金錢、時間去與龐大的醫療體制拉据,在荒謬的申訴制度下尋找真相,是件賞心樂事嗎?張崇德和劉美娟,如果想生活更易過,早已選擇放下。忘記,是多麼吸引人的選擇。可是,假如連他的父母都不去追究,世上就沒有人會為張天藍追究。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">因為爸媽,我近年接觸公立醫院的經驗多了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">2012 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">年,媽媽因病在東區醫院留院四天。當我看到大病房環境擠迫,便要求讓媽媽轉往私人病房。我花了三天時間向不同醫護人員作出同一要求,他們卻以不同理由,或拖延或勸說,令「轉病房」這件看似簡單的事,困難重重。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">一個護士說,轉房要等醫生決定,但卻說不出醫生何時可決定。另一職員卻說,私人病房沒有床位。第二天,當護士再說要「等醫生決定」,我便請他叫醫生寫清楚不能轉病房的理由,但他說他沒資格吩咐醫生做事。翌日,當醫生單獨見我媽媽時,他說在大病房有更多醫護人員看守,對病人保障更大,勸她不要轉病房。後來護士忽然說私人病房有床位了,但媽媽婉拒--醫生的恫嚇相當有效。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">醫院白紙黑字寫明病人有權要求轉往私人病房,但原來,那只是紙上談的權利。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">媽媽出院後,<st1:chsdate day="10" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False" month="10" w:st="on" year="2014">十月十日</st1:chsdate>我給醫院和醫管局一封投訴信。一星期後,他們回覆說醫院的目標是於收信後六星期內回覆。我想,花六星期去回一封信?怎料六星期過去,毫無音信。九星期後,醫院終於給我一個</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Interim reply</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,內容是:收到信件,正在調查。我問,為什麼要花九星期去寫一個</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Interim reply</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">?醫院冷淡回覆:我們收到你的電郵,相關部門正在跟進。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">翌年<st1:chsdate day="16" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False" month="1" w:st="on" year="2014">一月十六日</st1:chsdate>,足足</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <span lang="EN-US">14 </span></span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">個星期後,醫院終於給我一封回信,花了相當篇幅去重複醫護人員說過的話,指大病房有更多更有能力的醫護人員看守,病人會得到更佳照顧。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">私人病房的設立,不是希望讓病人得到更佳環境和照料嗎?醫院卻告訴我:你媽媽住進私人病房的話,有起事上來分分鐘無人理架。雖然在信中他們這樣說:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">"We sincerely sympathize the distress
you and your mother experienced in the ward"</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,但,過程中我完全感受不到他們的</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> sincerity </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">或</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> sympathy</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我雖然不滿醫院花了</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> 14 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">星期去調查後得出的結論,不過,人生苦短,我沒追究下去。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">最近,爸爸病發被送到東區醫院,病情反覆,留院達五晚。五天以來,我們多次要求主診醫生與我們通電話或會面,向我們解釋他的病況,但一直不得要領。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">留院期間,我們有幸見到醫生,都只是在探病時驚鴻一瞥。例如某天,他為爸爸抽脊髓液化驗時見到媽媽,向她解釋了為什麼要化驗,便匆匆離開。我們只能向護士查詢病情,而護士亦只是憑閱讀醫生寫的記錄去解答。假如在文件上找不到答案,護士也只會說:「要再問醫生。」我請他替我去問,但到第二天探病時,已不是這位護士當值了,作為家屬實在很無奈。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我曾趁醫生巡房時親身到醫院,希望醫生能解答我的疑問,但職員說醫生沒可能逐一會見病人家屬。她甚至解釋,以那位醫生的脾氣,他不喜歡病人家屬等他。於是我前後三次留下手機號碼,請護士着醫生致電給我,但我一直沒有接到他的電話。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">出院那天,醫院着我們下午二時三十分接爸爸,我和媽媽到達後呆等一小時。護士說,醫生未準備好文件,請你們六時後再來。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">當你的摰親在醫院煎熬了五晚,病情反覆,你們日夜擔心,天天探病,幾乎心力交瘁了;好不容易等到出院,護士卻一副理所當然的語氣,說「你們六時後再回來吧」。是很不合理,但那一刻,你已經沒有力氣去跟那龐然大物周旋。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">爸爸出院後,每每想到他住院五晚,但醫生竟沒有花過十至十五分鐘去認真向家屬解釋病況,我覺得很荒謬。我提起精神再一次致電醫院,要求醫生打電話給我。職員說,我會轉達你的口訊,但我不能確保醫生會打電話給你。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">至今,我沒有收到他的電話。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">比起張崇德夫婦的喪子之痛,我所受的對待,算是什麼。可是,面對龐大的醫療體制、無底深潭一樣的申訴程序(而所謂的程序還是由醫院那方定的),我有感自己是個手無寸鐵的文弱少年,而在我面前的,是歌利亞。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">不難理解,無論在醫院受到什麼對待,很多人都因為忙於照顧病者或養病,只會默默承受,任人魚肉。就算像我這樣花時間跟進的,十之八九,都會被醫院的拖字訣、繁複手續、官腔回覆而打沉,說句「算吧」就把事情了結。正中下懷。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">醫院處理投訴的手段,幾乎是必勝的。平民百姓,跟這龐然大物鬥長命、鬥資源、鬥官僚,點鬥?正正因為現實如此荒誕,更突顯張崇德夫婦過去九年,活出了大衛的堅執和勇氣。即使旁人不理解、即使人人都勸他們放下,他們還是忍着喪子之痛,堅持下去。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">兒子失去生命,醫生承擔的後果是停牌兩年,劉美娟認為判決是不公平的。我不知道他們還會不會繼續追究下去,或者還有沒有渠道追究下去;無論如何,對於兩位為了追尋真相而甘願在過去九年承受漫長的折磨和孤獨,我打從心底裡感到敬佩和感動。他們才是我心中的巨人。我相信張天藍有這樣的父母,一定很驕傲。</span><br />
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The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-31745064497227588502014-06-04T11:57:00.000+08:002014-06-05T09:28:44.487+08:00被消失的歷史<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">今年五月底六月初,我和英國人帶父母遊北京。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">一名當地土生土長的廿六歲男子阿駱帶我們遊長城。他載我們由長城回酒店的時候,我們見到每道穚上都有公安駐守,便問他原因。阿駱立刻關上所有車窗,才說:「因為很快就<st1:chsdate day="4" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False" month="6" w:st="on" year="2014">六月四日</st1:chsdate>,保安很嚴。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我們告訴他,每年<st1:chsdate day="4" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False" month="6" w:st="on" year="2014">六月四日</st1:chsdate>,香港都有很多人聚集在一起。阿駱一頭霧水,問:「真的嗎?我不知道啊。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">再問他,有一張相片,顯示當年有一個手無寸鐵的男人站在坦克車面前,擋着一列坦克的去路,你知道嗎?他說,不知道。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">旅途的首兩天,我們都用手機</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Google </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">找想到的景點或餐廳。但到第三天,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">Google </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">失靈了。阿駱說:「因為太接近六四了,他們停了</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">
Google</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。這很平常,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">Google </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在這裡是經常『被失靈』的。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">每天吃早餐,英國人都拿一份</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> New York Times </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">來讀。那天,他讀着一篇長文,由第六頁橫誇到第七頁,但卻發覺第七和第八頁都消失了,下一頁已是第九頁。他到報紙架拿另一份</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> New York Times</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,發現所有</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> New York Times </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">的第七和第八頁都消失了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">後來與阿駱提及這件事,他說:「那是給抽起了。那很普遍,很多香港報章來到內地,都會有<st1:chmetcnv hasspace="False" negative="False" numbertype="3" sourcevalue="1" tcsc="1" unitname="兩" w:st="on">一兩</st1:chmetcnv>頁消失了,我們就知道那是政府不想本地人讀到的東西。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">用這種千軍萬馬的力量去堵截任何相關資訊,讓一個廿六歲的中國人,對一件廿五年前</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體;">在北京</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">發生的事,一無所知。他只知道,那是禁忌,最好不要談,談起的話最好先關好所有門窗。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">每次由內地回到香港,我都覺得回家真好,可以用</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Facebook</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,可以用</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> search engine</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,可以找回「被消失」的報章來讀,可以討論六四,可以上網找到有關六四的資料、圖片和紀錄片。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">可是,這些日子還剩多少?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在北京遇到的這些事件,令英國人更加理解,為什麼香港人每年六月四月晚上,無論是熱死辣辣抑或傾盤大雨,都走出來向世界宣示我們不會忘記。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; line-height: 14pt;">就是這麼簡單:歷史不應被埋沒,做過的事應該坦承,做錯事更得道歉。在幼稚園學過的道理,我最記得。</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span>The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-6133668219738374842014-05-22T11:06:00.001+08:002014-05-25T19:29:08.732+08:00何必搏盡?<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-para-margin-bottom: 1.0gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: 1.0gd;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUNB48BtwjF0htzYgeMLUy-jj7huaHy8SDtDkzhl3031PR-BZAjGVkOyPAXvUdTlKDHxQ7uT1ob8CwF8_5hslXJvBA-AIorRVUYtmjBR6PxV0xVtGsj-ZQ_V-T3CYn-CMsun4cjepVS_c/s1600/20140522_Ryan+Giggs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUNB48BtwjF0htzYgeMLUy-jj7huaHy8SDtDkzhl3031PR-BZAjGVkOyPAXvUdTlKDHxQ7uT1ob8CwF8_5hslXJvBA-AIorRVUYtmjBR6PxV0xVtGsj-ZQ_V-T3CYn-CMsun4cjepVS_c/s1600/20140522_Ryan+Giggs.jpg" height="320" width="222" /></a><span style="font-family: 新細明體; line-height: 16pt;">英國人每次提起英國足球員 </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 16pt;">Ryan Giggs</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; line-height: 16pt;">,</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; line-height: 16pt;">都告訴我這個人如何如何厲害。在國際級足球壇上,四十歲是超級超齡,但四十歲的他球技一點不遜年紀少他一半的球員。雖然他最近宣布退下足球場,出任曼聯助教,但英國人深信,如果 </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 16pt;">Ryan Giggs </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; line-height: 16pt;">踢下去,他還會繼續替曼聯取佳績。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有一次我們讀到一篇 </span><a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/feeling-good-with-yoga-the-secret-of-giggs-success-2185031.html" target="_blank"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">Ryan Giggs </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">的訪問</span></a><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,他在訪問中說,無論是練習還是比賽,他都不會去到盡。他憶述年少時某次因衝得太盡而受傷了,之後須暫停練習和比賽,大大拖慢了進度。那次之後他就告訴自己,從今以後要知道自己的限制,只在自己的範圍內落力,不再讓自己受傷。他說,就是在球場上奔跑,也不會全力衝(</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">I haven't sprinted at full pace<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>since I was 19, 20 or 21."</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">)。而他的確很多年沒有再受過傷。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">從小到大,無論是家庭、學校、傳媒都紛紛向我們鼓吹做事要「搏到盡」。兩大最為人熟識的運動品牌,口號分別是</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Just Do It </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">和</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Impossible is
Nothing</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,字面看就是鼓勵人「想做就去做,別想太多,世上沒有什麼是不可能的」。運動員接受訪問時不是大都說自己時刻出盡</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> 200% </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">力、場場搏盡嗎?搏到盡,彷彿是應份的體育精神。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">一個那麼成功的職業足球員卻說,他之所以能夠在球壇踢足二十年,是因為他「不會去到盡」,將受傷的可能減到最低。這說法真如清流一股,沖刷着我們那種追求「搏到盡」的既定心態。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">Ryan
Giggs </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">這種態度令我很欣賞,亦教我想起另一個運動員。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我不是體育迷,對劉翔沒有好感也沒有反感,只是這個田徑選手給我的印象,是不停的比賽、受傷、退出、治療、復出、比賽、受傷</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">……</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">還記得</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <span lang="EN-US">2008 </span></span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">年北京奧運,我在電視屏幕看着他痛苦的表情,拐着步離開田徑場地,我心裡是替他的身體可憐。亦有個疑問:作為世界級運動員,他是不是對自己的身體那麼不了解?那跟腱能不能在那場比賽中如常表現,他事先應該感覺得到吧。但他還是走到田徑場,助地起跑,我估計多半是那種「無論如何要搏盡」的想法驅使。假如因為那助地起跑而把跟腱拉得更傷,值得嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">到</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <span lang="EN-US">2012 </span></span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">年奧運,劉翔起跑後踢倒第一個欄跌倒地上,然後起來一拐一拐走到線道尾段,俯身親吻最後一個欄,並單腳慢慢跳過終點。賽後他被診斷跟腱斷裂。我心裡還是替他的身體可憐。還是同一個疑問:如果因為那種「無論如何要搏盡」的想法,負傷參加比賽而拉斷跟腱,那值得嗎?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">那是奧運,或許他和他的團隊覺得那是值得的。但我始終認為,對一個運動員來說,身體最重要。其實,對任何一個普通人來說,有什麼比身體來得重要?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">練習瑜珈數年,瑜珈跟其他運動一樣也講求挑戰自己,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">stretching your limits</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">;但挑戰自己的前提是</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> be mindful</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,聆聽自己的身體,避免</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> overstretch </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">拉傷。上課時,我很喜歡導師總是說,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">"take your time, no rush, listen to your body"</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">運動以外,日常生活中我們亦經常接收「應該搏到盡」的訊息。老闆總是偏愛那種廿四小時服務公司、覺得</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Nothing is impossible </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">的僱員。很多家長亦一樣鼓勵孩子分秒必爭學這樣學那樣,盡快盡早盡力發展潛能,最好以最小的年紀就學盡所有語言、藝術、運動和技能。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">在這種氣氛下,多少人會像</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Ryan Giggs </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">一樣停下來,想想:「搏到盡」其實是不是好事?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">人都想不斷向前,挑戰自己,走出框框;不過,不能急,亦不應急。要走出框框,首先要了解自己的框框在哪裡,不然一跳就跳到異域,只怕方寸大亂,難言進步。叫別人跳出</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> comfort zone </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">前,亦要先了解那</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> zone </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">在哪裡。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">The Psychology of Flow</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">作者</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <span lang="EN-US" style="background: white;">Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi</span><span lang="EN-US"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">指,要達到創作時那無我的、快樂的高點(</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">in flow</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">),其中一個要素是:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">a balance
between challenges and skills</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">。如果面對的挑戰是你毫無能力駕馭的,你只會覺得自己無用、無能、無助,結果往往是在失敗中大受打擊。如果面對的作業是你駕輕就熟的,毫無挑戰可言,我們不但在工作中找不到樂趣,永遠滯留在</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> comfort zone</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,亦難以進步。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">重點是那個平衡點。先要了解自己的能力,並找尋一個點,是讓你覺得有點困難,但又有信心可以嘗試盡能力去克服的。那,才是真正的挑戰。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">記得在某舊公司被委以一個我認為等同於「摘月亮」的任務,我自知沒有那種技能,可是上司既沒有給予任何協助或指導,也不打算找同事與我並肩作戰,也不給任何資源,只是擲下一句:你把月亮摘下來,我是為你好,這對你是很好的挑戰!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我是樂於接受挑戰的人。可是那一次,我純粹被恐懼無助無力及無辜感籠罩。如果我不懂得抽身,很容易會以為是自己笨,是自己無能。幸好有人提醒,那上司向來不負責任地把他自己也不懂得如何處理的難題拋給下屬,然後逃之夭夭。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">別像他那樣不負責任。要給自己挑戰,前提是按自己的能力去權衡那一項是真正的挑戰,那一項是「摘月亮」式的任務。此所以</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> Ryan Giggs </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">說他不會</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> overdo</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,他了解自己的能力、體力、韌力、技術在那裡,就在那個邊緣挑戰自己。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">最近讀到于丹教授解釋孔子人生的六個階段,對「四十而不惑」她這樣解說:「三十歲以後就開始用減法生活(</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">to live by subtraction</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體;">)--學會捨棄那些不是你心靈真正需要的東西;捨掉那些你心靈不想交的朋友;拒絕做那些你心靈不想做的事;甚至不去賺你心靈不想賺的錢。當敢於捨棄時,人才真正接近不惑。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體;">說的都是一樣,要了解自己,才不至於盲目追求。東西、朋友、事情,甚至錢,並不一定愈多愈好。任何事物,</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">多、新、快、高、大、繁、忙,不一定就好。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-12644099665532747082014-05-08T12:48:00.000+08:002014-06-24T14:42:05.959+08:00獨立自主的單身漢 VS 孤衾獨枕的老姑婆<div style="border-bottom: solid #AAAAAA 1.0pt; border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid #AAAAAA .75pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 0cm 0cm;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">去年找證婚律師為我們預備結婚證書及法律文件,律師要求我們填一張表格,除了個人資料,還得填上當時的婚姻狀況,男的有三個選擇:「未婚</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"> Bachelor / </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">鰥夫</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"> Widower / </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">離婚</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"> Divorced</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">」;女的亦有三個選擇:</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">「未婚</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"> Spinster / </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">寡婦</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"> Widow
/ </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">離婚</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"> Divorced</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">」。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">我和英國人當時都未結過婚,他便圈</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">
Bachelor</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">,而我</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">…… Spinster</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">我望望英國人,說:「中文同樣是未婚,怎麼你是</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">
Bachelor</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">,我卻成了</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">
Spinster</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">?不公平!」他也沒想過自己計劃迎娶的是個</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">
spinster</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">。他說,這個字的確難聽,很驚訝律師會用這種貶義字。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">我們建議律師改用較中性的詞彙,如</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <span lang="EN-US">unmarried</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">,或者學美國電視節目那樣用</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">
Bachelorette </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">這個新字。律師說:「法律文件都用</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <span lang="EN-US">Spinster </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">這個字代表未結過婚的女性,是中性的,不含貶義。將來你們的結婚證書上,在你『結婚前的婚姻狀況』一欄,亦會打上這個字。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">吓?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">回家查牛津字典,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">A spinster - <span style="background: white;">a woman who has remained single
beyond the conventional age for marrying</span></span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">,即是過了適婚年齡的獨身女人。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">A bachelor - an unmarried man</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">,即未婚男人。真係唔公平喎。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">New Oxford American
Dictionary</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">亦講明,今時今日</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">spinster
</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">這個字已不再是中性字:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">"</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;">The development of the word<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; border: 1pt none windowtext; font-weight: normal; padding: 0cm;">spinster</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;">is a good example of the
way in which a word acquires strong connotations to the extent that it can no
longer be used in a neutral sense. From the 17th century the word was appended
to names as the official legal description of an unmarried woman. This type of
use survives today in some legal and religious contexts... In modern everyday
English, however,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; border: 1pt none windowtext; font-weight: normal; padding: 0cm;">spinster</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;">cannot be used to mean
simply ‘unmarried woman’; it is now always a derogatory term, referring or
alluding to a stereotype of an older woman who is unmarried, childless, prissy,
and repressed.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">"</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">Wikipedia </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">比字典更貼近現實,將</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <span lang="EN-US">spinster </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">解為</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <span lang="EN-US">"a woman who has not formed a human pair bond<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>by the time she is approaching or has reached menopause<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and the end of her reproductive
lifespan"</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">。</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">而</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">bachelor<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">則解作</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;"> <span lang="EN-US">"a man who is neither married nor cohabitating and
who lives independently outside of his parents' home"</span></span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4fbxdmSePy49MkiQUrCaxTVMUEwzAnQKbheSvKHGTuuX1YxAnACu8R8c4EFbihPjH3RZvSlE3RifbUqshdTB38Ql-aqIWsSk2dVOKArbE7TpK6lURVYS7qb7HJu5MVtLvzXkCHGXd6bo/s1600/20140508_spinster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4fbxdmSePy49MkiQUrCaxTVMUEwzAnQKbheSvKHGTuuX1YxAnACu8R8c4EFbihPjH3RZvSlE3RifbUqshdTB38Ql-aqIWsSk2dVOKArbE7TpK6lURVYS7qb7HJu5MVtLvzXkCHGXd6bo/s1600/20140508_spinster.jpg" height="193" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="hwc"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">"</span></span><span class="hwc"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">spinster</span></span><span class="hwc"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">"</span></span><span class="hwc"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span><span class="hwc"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">亦解作從事紡織的女人,織女也?</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">即是說,英國人是個獨立自主的未婚男子,而我,則是停了經都找不到男人要的老女人。我當時明明就在準備結婚,在婚書卻被指是「</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">spinster -</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">一個到了更年期、找不到老公的女人」。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">都說法律界有自己一套不合時宜的語言。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">我並不是真的介懷。想深一層,「一個到了更年期的單身女人」,亦不過是一個</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">
factual </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">的狀況,為什麼卻成了罵人或咀咒別人的話?更令人困惑的是,兩個本來都屬中性的字,為什麼走向兩極?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">Bachelor
</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">為什麼變得那麼清秀高雅?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">Spinster
</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">為什麼卻演變成為一個又酸又苦又乾又澀的貶義字?這都反映出社會對單身男和單身女那南轅北轍的偏見。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">英文如是,中文尤甚。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">英國人某天在廣東話課文學了這個三個字--「嫁唔去」。他問我,女人找不到老公是「嫁唔去」,那麼男人找不到老婆是不是「娶唔去」?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">我對他說,世事並不是那麼公平。女人「嫁唔去」就是「嫁唔去」,男人娶不到老婆就是「娶不到老婆」;前者已經是一個</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;">
phrase</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">,是慣用語,潛台詞是一聲嘆息--「佢嫁唔去呀,唉,</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">陰公!」而後者,只是一句說出某人婚姻狀況的句子,是中性的。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">形容單身男人的詞語要不就是中性,如<span style="background: white;">單身漢、一枝公,要不就是褒義詞,如鑽石王老五。</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">形容單身女人的詞語呢?隨便舉些例子,都是負面的,五隻手指數不完--</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">老姑婆<span style="background: white;">、</span>老處女<span style="background: white;">、</span>賣剩<span style="background: white;">蔗、攝</span></span><em><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">灶罅</span></em><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">、蘿底橙、剩</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">女</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">…… </span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">嘗試想出<st1:chmetcnv hasspace="False" negative="False" numbertype="3" sourcevalue="1" tcsc="1" unitname="兩" w:st="on">一兩</st1:chmetcnv>個正面的,唔</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">sorry</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">,</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-weight: normal;">暫時未想到。你想到的話,話我知。</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;">21 </span><span style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;">世紀的社會,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;">supposed
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;">是文明和尊重女性的。但從日常用語已反映出社會對女人是多麼不公平、多麼刻薄。連傳媒、所謂的</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;"> opinion leaders</span><span style="background-color: white; font-weight: normal;">,以及女人自己,都肆無忌憚地使用這些詞語去向單身女人施暴,我實在想知,這個社會距離「真正尊重女性」,還要走多遠。</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">文章亦刊於<a href="http://thehousenews.com/society/%E7%8D%A8%E7%AB%8B%E8%87%AA%E4%B8%BB%E7%9A%84%E5%96%AE%E8%BA%AB%E6%BC%A2-vs-%E5%AD%A4%E8%A1%BE%E7%8D%A8%E6%9E%95%E7%9A%84%E8%80%81%E5%A7%91%E5%A9%86/" target="_blank">主場新聞</a></span></span></div>
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The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-82757253173594949352014-04-30T09:54:00.000+08:002014-04-30T09:54:18.083+08:00找尋自己的節奏<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">新婚後沒有工作的日子,不過兩個月。這段日子遇到任何人,幾乎都被問及這三個問題:你平日有什麼做?你不悶嗎?你開始找工作沒有?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">這些問題只是很平常的開場白,就等如朋友碰面時問:你吃飯未?你做哪一行?
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">然而,當我不斷重複回答這三條問題,人就開始胡思亂想,有點懊惱大家是不是認為沒有工作就會悶出個鳥來。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">的確不少人告訴過我,他不可以不工作,「第一個星期或者很高興,但第二個星期我就會悶得發慌。」有些人更說,一定要安排去旅行才可以放假,「放假待在家沒事做,白白浪費了假期啊。」</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">那是否代表他們不打算退休,又或者退休後必須環遊世界才不會悶壞?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">或許對他們來說,有份工作做生活的軸心,是件很幸運的事。可是對我來說,我很慶幸,在沒有工作的情況下,能夠坦然面對自己。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">這兩個月以來每每被問及「你平日有什麼做、你不悶嗎?」我都認真地回答:「不會悶呀,每星期做瑜伽、跑步、龍舟訓練、寫字、閱讀、陪家人、見朋友、間中煮飯……」</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">答得多了我竟有數白欖的感覺,不期然想起在舊公司那個除了老闆沒人想出席的周會,會議最後一部分是<span lang="EN-US"> "Let's go round the table"</span>,每人講講手頭上的工作。圍着會議桌共十多二十人,有些人一說就是二十分鐘,教其他人很大壓力,覺得無論如何要說點什麼。其實,絕大多數人只想快點回座位工作,沒興趣聽你細數工作進度。而我在這個環節說得最多的話應該是:「沒什麼特別的。」然後就交給下一位同事報告。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">很多辦公室都有「鬥忙」這現象。大家掛在唇邊的都是「超忙」、「我昨晚做到十一時」,再加<st1:chmetcnv hasspace="False" negative="False" numbertype="3" sourcevalue="1" tcsc="1" unitname="兩" w:st="on">一兩</st1:chmetcnv>封凌晨寄出的電郵,而忙得來更不忘在<span lang="EN-US">
Facebook </span>公布自己如何忙得不可開交。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">有一次同事問我忙不忙,我答:「不忙。」他有點錯愕,頓一頓才說:「真的嗎?」我說:「完了那個<span lang="EN-US"> project</span>,現在有時間清理電腦的文件和 <span lang="EN-US">mailbox</span>,太好了。」他說:「你當心啊,讓老闆知道你不忙,他立即會想辦法讓你忙個夠!」</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">工作也有旺季淡季,在淡靜的日子可以做做<span lang="EN-US"> housekeeping</span>,清理案頭文件和電腦檔案,是很重要的排毒過程。可是,為什麼大家對於「不忙碌」感到那麼不安?而對於不合理地持續地忙碌卻那麼推崇,彷彿忙碌等如能幹、等如勤力、等如有熱誠。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">別搞錯,忙碌只是一個狀況--要做的事太多,不夠時間用。那很可能是因為你被管理層剝削、不懂得說不、或自虐地享受忙碌。與能幹、勤力、有熱誠,風馬牛不相及。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">數白欖數得悶了,或許他日有人再問:「你平日有什麼做?你不悶嗎?」我索性答:「什麼都不做,就待在家對着四面牆。」</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">從某個角度看,這也是真的。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">出生後至五歲,起居飲食都由父母照顧,爸媽定的規矩就是我們的系統。六歲到二十歲,上課下課溫習考試,學校可說就是我們生活的系統。大學畢業後,全職工作規定我們日出而作、日入而息,那機構就成了我們生活的系統。自懂性以來我背後都有這些強大系統給我設定生活模式,如今一下子系統瓦解,我真正成為自己生活的主軸,這種轉變,原來很震撼。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">不用上班,人反而須更勤力--由起床那一刻開始,我是為自己而起床,而不是為了要準時上班;幾乎做每一件事,都靠自己去推動,不是受外在環境所迫。發自內心的原動力,變得更重要。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">正因如此,我得容許自己慢慢摸索,問自己想如何度過這個暑假,想過什麼樣的生活,然後給自己擬訂時間表、生活模式、生活節奏。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">回頭一看,我過往一直都跟着不同系統的節奏去走,趕功課、趕考試、趕<span lang="EN-US"> deadline</span>、趕<span lang="EN-US"> project</span>。這輩子我竟是第一次--去找回自己的節奏。</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNenC5gVChtmF7oAN_TkUvNTleoi__TRNmGHYHk57W021PAJa-I72A8YfC1GGkyQMPKuVcordMQuVvd-MjZOhmdIuTPQ2N2EMzM-cjJX1z-VvbGeZJsYzOiJ-1d8OvY0-3AftbbjpLvtg/s1600/20140429_doingnothing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNenC5gVChtmF7oAN_TkUvNTleoi__TRNmGHYHk57W021PAJa-I72A8YfC1GGkyQMPKuVcordMQuVvd-MjZOhmdIuTPQ2N2EMzM-cjJX1z-VvbGeZJsYzOiJ-1d8OvY0-3AftbbjpLvtg/s1600/20140429_doingnothing.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">其實,我已記不起自己的節奏是怎樣。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我只能夠非常耐心,重新學習,慢慢走,慢慢讀,慢慢吃,慢慢做,甚至什麼都不做,<span lang="EN-US">"doing nothing, just being"</span>。然後聽聽自己心裡在說什麼。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">所以如果我答:「我什麼都不做,就在家對着牆壁思考人生。」這不就是給自己放暑假的初衷嗎?</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-31251257201978480852014-04-25T17:19:00.001+08:002014-04-26T09:44:22.276+08:00唔好意思,近年「日哦夜哦」<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">港鐵的廣告一向好賣溫情,印象較深是</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> 2010 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">年的「唔好意思,當年阻住你」系列,笨拙地對公眾說:「若不是我當年力排眾議興建鐵路,今天哪來這麼方便的交通?所以唔該你而家唔好阻住我發展。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">今年</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">35 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">周年,地鐵再大賣溫情,以「心繫香港</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">35</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">年」為題,登出在港鐵工作</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">35 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">年的僱員照片、坐地鐵結婚的夫婦的婚紗照等,就連唔知關咩事的細細粒陳嘉佳亦成為廣告中人。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">與外地很多城市相比,香港地鐵系統效率高、準時可靠、環境</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體;">乾淨舒適,</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體;">其實作為乘客,我已心滿意足,港鐵又何必用廣告加油添醋,大力提醒我,你如何與我一起成長,如何陪着我走過人生高低起跌。香港已有無線電視劇,在日常生活如果還是矯情濫情,只怕消化不良。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">港鐵的廣告和廣播內容可真是貫徹地令我「好滯」。廣播是給搭地鐵的乘客聽的,乘客若不是在打瞌睡或發呆,就多半在玩電話或趕時間。想要他們聽入耳,廣播就該言簡意賅,尤其當每段廣播須兩文三語重複,就更應短小精悍。但港鐵卻反其道而行,像唐三藏般沒完沒了</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">地說:「搭扶手電梯,唔好望住手提電話,記住緊握扶手!請不要緊看手機,要緊握扶手!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">Please hold the handrail. Don't keep your
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">太長。一句「專注上落,緊握扶手」不就夠嗎?我們每分每秒已面對着過多的資訊,每天在地鐵站上落電梯時,竟還被疲勞轟炸,被迫聽那麼多廢話。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">第二,濫情。這段廣播的聲線和語氣,與內容吻合非常,根本是在幫全港父母教仔,讓我們連乘電梯時亦有賓至如歸之感,彷彿聽到媽咪在廚房高呼:「阿仔,同人哋同枱食飯,唔好掛住睇電視,記住專心食飯呀!」然後重複再重複。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">第三,無用。在月台那句「請讓乘客先出」已播了不知多少年,不見得多少人因而變得禮讓,反而一開門就衝去搶位的人愈來愈多。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOknhTBsd_R5QEnzKrU-Cqm6vVs6DJliM0ZKn46Hmd89RhNWm15L3luUPbgL8bx9MrfN0l_Xz4cLMk0VtK9bvvQoicTz5NYL3GP1QAZQD2tAkCUB9wzdvZ_lZS5hLdi6I9gVVH07GrDIk/s1600/lookdown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOknhTBsd_R5QEnzKrU-Cqm6vVs6DJliM0ZKn46Hmd89RhNWm15L3luUPbgL8bx9MrfN0l_Xz4cLMk0VtK9bvvQoicTz5NYL3GP1QAZQD2tAkCUB9wzdvZ_lZS5hLdi6I9gVVH07GrDIk/s1600/lookdown.jpg" height="197" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">星期五黃昏六時三十分的銅鑼灣街道上,當我見到太多人低着頭按着手機渾然忘我地龜速漫步(或突然停步)時,也很懊惱。不過,我深信人貴自知。為人設想的人本身不會在人多的地方邊走邊玩手機阻街;相反,玩少一秒就坐立不安的人是即使你找莫華倫唱出那段廣播他也不會放低手機。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">若然一個城市的人連如何走路都要別人在耳邊唸經般千叮萬囑,若然要靠別人提醒才懂得為別人設想的話,香港政府很快會向港鐵學習,加強家長式(又稱「日哦夜哦」式)管治</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">……</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在擠迫的街頭,你會聽到廣播聲:「人多擠迫,請想清楚自己要去邊然後朝那個方向走,不要行行下突然剎掣或掉頭,咁會撞死或嚇死人。亦都唔好發白日夢或玩手機,咁樣你會行得好慢,阻住後面趕住去投胎啲人。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">另一款會是這樣:「人多擠迫,行人道狹窄,如果多過兩個人同行,請不要一字排開咁行,記得留少少位俾其他人行,唔好好以隻蟹咁橫行霸道。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在商場出入口的玻璃門,廣播聲起:「出入請注意身後有無行人,如有,請幫人</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> hold </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">下道玻璃門,否則你一放手道門可能會撞親後面個人,尤其是行動不方便的長者、小孩,或手推嬰兒車的人士。」同時,亦要加這個:「如走在你前面的人幫你</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> hold </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">住道玻璃門,記得講唔該,那人不是商場僱用的</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> bell boy</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,只是好心幫你,如果你奉旨咁行咗去,人家會覺得好侮辱。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在海洋公園和迪迪尼機動遊戲的排隊位置,亦要廣播:「排隊是香港人引以為傲的美德,如果閣下想得到香港人尊重,請不要扮晒認識隊頭的人咁打尖,亦不要以為扮隱形打尖大家就會啞忍。」</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">回到地鐵車廂,廣播員更會如朋友般親切地提醒乘客:「喂,唔好扮閉目養神或者扮睇唔倒啦,見到有需要的人要讓坐,你坐少一陣對身體有益呀,乖啦。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-47006247049056048912014-04-09T16:43:00.000+08:002014-04-11T12:25:32.744+08:00自甘墮入連環詐騙案<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">離開校園踏足社會後,怎麼一切都變了。夢想變遙遠了人類變麻木了生活變沒趣了腳步也被迫變踏實了,就連</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"> KFC </span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">的雞也變難吃了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我敢講,「</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;">KFC </span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">的雞變難吃」這件事,不是因為人大了口味變了而產生的主觀感覺,它是客觀事實。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">以麥當勞為例,它的食物由始至終都處於不好吃也不難吃的水平,總算是維持着它的標準。但</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"> KFC </span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">的食物卻不知從何時開始,似是在自暴自棄地變得毫無誠意:那雞蓉飯的飯是乾乾硬硬的,那芡汁不冷不熱;炸雞是以一層炸乾的厚麵粉包着,裡面的雞肉少得可憐;就是燒雞翼也瘦得令人覺得不好意思吃它,每次再望望餐牌照片呈現那又新鮮又肥美的雞翼,我就覺得被騙。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我並不特別偏好快餐,但由於</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"> KFC </span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">是我的大學回憶,這些年來經過</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"> KFC</span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,常常會想:「或許現在又變好吃了呢!」於是我一而再、再而三地給它機會,這次試試巴辣香雞翼吧、那次又試試蜜蜜燒雞翼吧,但每次,都失望而回。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">早幾天發生了一件事,當時我選擇了沉默,但如今我還是忍不住要力陳己見。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我經過</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"> KFC</span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">,見到餐牌上推廣新的菜色:扒芝士雞肉多士。看看相片中的多士(下圖),賣相不錯,我想,就當是今天的午餐吧,就試試看吧。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 新細明體;">付款後,我打開裹着多士的餐紙一看,現實中的扒芝士雞肉多士是這樣的:</span><br />
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我想:實在欺人太甚吧!<span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我當時的心情,是覺得自己像上一代的中國傳統婦女一樣,即使長期被老公拳打腳踢,但仍不斷自我催眠說是打者愛也亦希望給他機會改過自新並默默等待他因為受我感動而浪子回頭。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">感覺就是笨到那個地步。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">我以後不會再光顧</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"> KFC</span><span style="background: white; font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-34162436549131799262014-03-31T17:43:00.000+08:002014-03-31T17:43:04.772+08:00「原來結婚好開心!」<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">很多人問我為什麼不寫我們的婚禮。原因是,我沒想過有人會對這題目有興趣。既然有人提出,即是我猜錯了。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">很多女孩自小對婚禮充滿憧憬,十三歲已想定要在什麼地方行禮、穿什麼婚紗、換多少套晚裝、梳什麼髮型、拿什麼花球、請什麼賓客……即使還未知道新郎在哪裡。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我是另一極。到了適婚年齡,有了結婚對象,但從沒思考過想要什麼樣的婚禮。連是否要舉辦婚禮,都沒有想定。向來深信,那場婚禮如何並不重要,那段婚姻如何才是我在乎的。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">又錯了。那場婚禮如何,亦很重要。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我們過了很快樂很快樂很快樂很快樂很快樂的一天。用五個「很快樂」都未能表達那種快樂。第二天,我們已立即想念那場婚禮,討論如何把當天的細節珍而重之地收好,才不會隨年月淡忘。我更像傻瓜一樣到處跟人說:「原來結婚好開心!」<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">正因情緒太高漲,當靜下來想寫寫這日子,卻不知從何說起。好像無論用什麼詞語都太籠統。我想,我只能以最平白的方式,記下那天令我感動的時刻。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>一梳梳到尾</b><b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我徹夜失眠,深宵起床找東西吃。媽媽聽到聲音也起來。她和我一樣失眠,因此我們五時許就在客廳上頭。由媽媽親自替我上頭,最合適不過。她是世上最在意我嫁得幸福不幸福的人,她為我梳頭時唸唸有詞說的祝福,最是真摰。當其他人還在睡夢中,我乖乖坐着讓媽媽為我梳頭,天地彷彿只有她和我。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>當一天主角</b><b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我告訴舊同事我們沒拍婚紗照,她問為什麼,我說因為英國人和我都不大喜歡當主角,也不喜歡擺甫士影相。她說:「我的婚禮更簡單,我連婚紗都沒穿。不過後來回想,一生中真正做主角的日子,可能就只結婚那天。生日已不算什麼,就是後來生仔,那天我也不是主角,孩子才是主角。但你結婚那天,所有人湧過來恭喜你,讚美你。一生中就那麼一天,你才是真正的主角,好好享受當主角吧。」<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我很同意。只不過,對於結婚當天無可避免地成為主角,英國人始終有點忐忑。雖然我們租了一套馬褂,但他說到時未必會穿。<span lang="EN-US">I feel ridiculous wearing it</span>,試身時他這樣說。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">那天,我在睡房等待男士們接新娘。當他一現身,我聽到大家熱烈鼓掌,就知道是他的一身馬褂大受歡迎。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我們聽大家的話,在這大日子,好好享受當一天主角。我甚至覺得自己做了一天公主,兄弟姊妹伴娘對我們照顧周到,又怕我冷又怕我餓;如果天天都有人這樣照顧我,我真的會以為自己是皇室成員。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It
is all about her<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">在香港,食物是社交聚會中將大家維繫一起的主菜。但在愛爾蘭式的家庭聚會中(他父母是愛爾蘭人),吃什麼並不重要,音樂才是主菜。十多二十人的聚會,圍在一起彈彈琴、唱唱歌,輪着表演玩到深宵達旦,是平常事。雖然在這家庭環境長大,但英國人卻從不表演。每次輪到他獻唱,他都搖頭苦笑,請大家放他一馬。年月久了,大家已習慣繞過他,不會迫他唱歌。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">從不喜歡成為焦點的他,又奇裝異服,又自彈自唱,一次過做了一輩子沒想過會做的事,因為他想:<span lang="EN-US">It is all about her today.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">早上的傳統敬茶儀式,對我們來說很重要,因為這是對家中長輩深深的致敬。他一家十九人從地球另一端來到香港出席我們的婚禮,當中大都從沒踏足過香港或中國。他請一兄一姊做代表,接受我們的敬禮。我們跪在他們面前,遞上熱茶;我看到他倆眼泛淚光,連平日很愛說笑的哥哥,也說不出話來。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我們都不知道對方會在婚禮致辭時說些什麼。湊巧地,我們都分別談及這段關係中的關鍵時刻(<span lang="EN-US">the moments</span>):<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">My moment</span>:我以多年沒見的朋友身分到英國旅行,找他做東道主帶我去玩。在他家書櫃裡,有一本書,是他媽媽的<span lang="EN-US"> "My Life Story"</span>,由他執筆和編輯。我獨自遊劍橋那天,問都沒問就拿了那本書,在路上讀。一邊讀一邉覺得有隻小鹿在心裡跑來跑去;一個大男人為自己的母親,那樣子花精神時間心血去寫下這麼一本書。那一刻我開始好奇,這個男人究竟是什麼構造的?<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">His moment</span>:約一年後,他以男朋友身分帶我到英國看世界文化遺產巨石陣(<span lang="EN-US">Stonehenge</span>)。那幾十塊巨石圍成一個大圓圈,其中一些足有<st1:chmetcnv hasspace="False" negative="False" numbertype="3" sourcevalue="6" tcsc="1" unitname="米" w:st="on">六米</st1:chmetcnv>高,在這平原上矗立四千多年。當年以人力如何運送這些巨石?目的是什麼?這些<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">在考古界仍是不解之謎</span>。我們在那裡走了很多路,沿途見到很多羊,拍了很多照片。旅程完結時,英國人問我有什麼感想?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">我說:<span lang="EN-US">"I like the sheep!"<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">打從那一刻開始,他就想以後和我在一起,一生一世。我的一句 <span lang="EN-US">"I like the sheep"</span>,令他很懊惱,又很好奇。不知多少人窮一生精力去把巨石運到這平原、國家大費周章去保存這文化遺產、多少旅客千里迢迢來看這些令人嘖嘖稱奇的巨石;搞咁多嘢,我最喜歡的卻是山邊的羊。他想:這個女子究竟是什麼構造的?<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>向父母致敬</b><b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">在婚禮上,我說,那年在英國,讀着他為他媽媽寫的書,我開始對這個男人好奇。所以,雖然我沒有機會見他媽媽,但我一直認為是她令我們走在一起;我好感激她。另外,從英國人說給我聽的故事中,我知道他爸媽是好到無懈可擊的父母,我很感謝他們,因為是在他們的影響和教導下,英國人成為那麼一個真誠又心地善良的人。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">不約而同,我們致辭時都向對方的父母親致敬。他感激,雖然我爸媽生平沒接觸過鬼佬,也不會說一句英文,但一開始就對他全盤接受。他向我媽媽獻花,眾目睽睽下吻了她臉頰一下。(我媽從未試過當眾讓人吻啊!)<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>囍宴</b><b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">除了早上敬茶和下午致辭時向父母致敬,我們晚上的囍宴,壓根兒是為父母而設的。本來我們不打算擺酒,但爸媽覺得沒擺酒就等如沒結婚,於是,我就這樣安慰自己:下午是我和他的婚禮,晚宴就是爸媽的婚禮,是送給他們的。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">奇怪的是,我和他都很享受那場囍宴。第一,當我們見到爸媽滿場飛,笑逐顏開,我們也很高興。第二,到了晚上我們終於沒有什麼任務,不用獻唱,不用致辭,而且已成了正式夫妻了,感覺終於可以放鬆心情。第三,英國人的家人兩杯下肚後,血液中的熱情發揮得淋漓盡致;一聽到熟識的音樂就一起唱歌,晚宴期間更無視語言障礙,到處找女家的親戚談話擁抱,幾乎溶化全場中國人。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">英國人自製兩段短片,一段是我和家人的照片,一段是他和家人的照片,於晚宴播放。播放我那段短片時,當一張爸媽的黑白婚紗照片在屏幕上出現,全場熱烈鼓掌!或許因為大家都很驚喜,沒想到會在這婚禮看到爸媽四十多年前的結婚照吧?那刻,爸媽頓時成為全場主角,我見到他們笑得雙眼瞇成一線,真的好想永遠留住這一刻。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>爸媽的感動</b><b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">第二天,我問爸媽:「昨天開心嗎?」出奇不意,媽媽紅着雙眼說:好開心,好開心!然後伸手抱着我連聲說多謝,並叫我要多謝英國人和他的家人:「他們全都好熱情,所有親戚都覺得他們好好,令所有人都好開心!」媽媽開心到抱着我流淚,還是第一次。她說這些話時,爸爸亦在旁流淚。天呀,見到他們這麼感動,我真是「老懷安慰」。他們的感動,令這場婚禮,圓滿得無以復加。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">若有人由頭讀到這裡,我很驚訝,亦很感謝。要寫自己的婚禮,實在不容易。老是圍繞着自己說那麼多話,也不好意思。千言萬語,實在也沒辦法刻劃英國人和我當天感覺有多幸福,有多感恩。我只好繼續像傻瓜一樣,大聲說句:「原來結婚真的好開心!」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634430087199172525.post-66528521411024022452014-03-15T15:34:00.000+08:002014-03-17T10:46:40.833+08:00有個人<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:chsdate day="14" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False" month="2" w:st="on" year="2014"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;">2014 </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">年</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <span lang="EN-US">2 </span></span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">月</span></st1:chsdate><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <span lang="EN-US">14 </span></span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">日,是我們婚前最後一個情人節,我們都為了籌備即將到臨的婚禮而忙得團團轉,都沒有精神時間去慶祝情人節,連討論都沒討論過,大家都</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> assume</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">,無暇慶祝。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">那天,英國人如常上班,我就跟媽媽、姊姊和妹妹到珠寶店選嫁妝。媽媽給我送嫁妝,這也是很窩心的情人節節目,我想。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">母女四人在眾多款式中選了一雙耳環、一條手鍊和一個心形吊墜,合起來所費不菲。我說我只會從三選二,媽媽卻忽然非常豪氣,說:「喜歡就買吧,我全都買給你!我有錢!」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">當一個對自己很節儉的人,大力鼓勵你花她的錢盡情買首飾,你得記住背後的心意:她想給你最好的,想你成為最幸福最快樂的新娘。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">我沒有聽媽媽的話,留下最貴的吊墜在珠寶店,沒帶它回家,因為,我覺得我已得到最好的嫁妝。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">那天黃昏我給英國人傳短訊,說我不想外出吃飯,但又不想煮飯。言下之意,仲唔係叫佢返來煮飯?(我都算過份……)他果然回覆說,他下班後到超市買些簡單的材料,回家煮飯。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">他回家時遞上鮮花,教我喜出望外。他說:「這是婚前最後一個情人節,怎可以沒表示?總不能讓你以為,結婚後我就不會再花心思。」我連聲道謝,但心想,「死啦!我卻什麼也沒預備。」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">我們吃過晚飯,他還堅持洗碗。我有時真想不通,這人怎會好到這田地,下班後買菜又買花,煮飯又洗碗!終於做完家務,二人準備睡覺了,他拿出一份禮物,祝我情人節快樂。我打開一看,是我早上在珠寶店沒有買下的心形吊墜!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">原來他一直和我妹妹合謀,叫她留意我喜歡哪款吊墜,並從旁說服我不要買,好讓他可以送給我,作為他以男朋友身分送給我的最後一份禮物。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">我不斷回想那天他為我做的事:上班期間以</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"> whatsapp </span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">串通我妹妹,讓我買不成吊墜。下班後到珠寶店買吊墜,到花店買花,到超市買菜買食物,回家煮飯,陪我吃飯,聽我講述那天早上選嫁妝的抉擇,洗碗,送禮物嚇我一跳</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">……</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">是夜,我不停掉眼淚。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">有首歌叫《世上只有媽媽好》,其中兩句歌詞是「有媽的孩子像個寶」,「沒媽的孩子像根草」。我常常想,不一定是媽媽。對一個嬰孩來說,世上只要有一個人疼愛,整個世界對他/她來說已完全不同。那人可以是他爸爸、祖母、代母、姨姨。是不是媽媽,並不是最重要。只要有個人養育他愛護他把他當成心肝寶貝,他就知道自己是心肝寶貝。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">在成長的階段也一樣,我們並不需要很多朋友;只要有一個肝膽相照的好朋友,也把你視作他的最好朋友,一路上互相傾訴、互相珍重、交換唱片、討論讀過的書、一起做夢</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial;">……</span><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">就足以讓你肯定自己:我沒有被排擠、我不是孤獨鬼。讓自己感覺被世界接納,一個好朋友就夠。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">到長大成人,很多人已不需要任何人的肯定。但你身邊那個人,究竟是把你當作生活上互相照應的老朋友、抑或一起分擔供樓的伙伴、抑或同一屋簷下的陌生人、抑或家傭?還是視你為靈魂伴侶,視你如珠如寶,天天都想把你擦光擦亮,放在掌心好好呵護?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNtqNTyKKHz042xTtsdxJnOFWcBOvTiydAX_ZEXbc0JQ6AeJsdrS7hQ2IzuLSxZuVTT8BpvV6exYNhqmPTFiCxyLLAOep6ErxXfpFGc8vge0GKk76EPJJR_AlMcZ5A6Vab53ngGBO7nw0/s1600/Up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNtqNTyKKHz042xTtsdxJnOFWcBOvTiydAX_ZEXbc0JQ6AeJsdrS7hQ2IzuLSxZuVTT8BpvV6exYNhqmPTFiCxyLLAOep6ErxXfpFGc8vge0GKk76EPJJR_AlMcZ5A6Vab53ngGBO7nw0/s1600/Up.jpg" height="178" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">你選擇與你共度餘生的那個人,如何看你、待你,足以影響你的下半生、你的世界觀、你的自我價值。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">人生的不同階段,你需要的也就是那麼一個人。那管世界所有人都對你不屑一顧,只要有一個人「錫到你燶」,已足以讓你頂天立地。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: 新細明體;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 新細明體; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">我望着那心形吊墜,默默掉眼淚,好感激好感激,身邊有這樣一個人。</span></div>
The Window Seathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05405282963407385903noreply@blogger.com0